This I do know for sure....

I don't know....what my life is right now. All I know is that it was fairly normal up until this year when it suddenly switched tracks and I'm really hoping it's not leading towards the end of the track at the edge of a cliff, but sometimes that's what it seems like.

Why do I feel like in May, I'm going to feel like there is a giant load off of my back?

Graaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Graaaaaaaaaa........

Gra..................

Shhhhhhhh!!!

Since I can't decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.....here is a picture of my inner mind.

Don't....really read into that too much. There's no symbolism, at least none that I know of.

I have a very vivid memory my freshmen year telling my friend, just to be a drama queen, that I should drop out of high school. And he was all, "Kaela. Never drop out of high school." And I was just like, "pfffffffttttttttt as if that would ever happen."

Fast forward to my Junior year when I was walking down the hall at school and I thought, "you know, I'm just gonna live it up senior year. Just party all the time with my friends. I would never dream of graduating early or dropping out."

Fast forward to this year....right now....

I don't know....how this came to be. I never would have dreamed that I would be part dropping out and part graduating early. But here I am, I'm accepted and registered and in exactly 2 months I'm going to be in college. And I don't know how my life suddenly took such a sharp turn and how in the world I've ended up here in where-the-heck-am-I-ville.

There are a lot of things I don't know right now. But thats pretty irrelevant. What's important is what I do know.

So, in the midst of my totally confusing life, this I do know for sure.

• My life has not been bad. Some seriously messed up things have happened, but it has not been bad.
• When you go to a gas station to buy hot chocolate, and dump 50 things of flavoring into your hot chocolate, and people give you weird looks...it's okay.
• Gas station hot chocolate can't be beat. Seriously.
• A squared + B squared = C squared. There isn't anything deep behind that...it just took me 2 years of geometry to figure that out.
• Sometimes, you will have crazy teachers. It's good to learn how to sort out which teachers are crazy and which ones you just think are crazy. Generally, if they throw a desk across the room, they are probably crazy.
• I've never been a fan of the Christmas song Little Drummer Boy, but Justin Bieber's version is BOSS. If you don't believe me, then you don't have a soul.
• When I am super depressed, or super anxious about something, reading my scriptures has never failed to make me feel even a little bit better. At the very least, it can make me stop shaking when I'm nervous. (Yeah, I shake when I get nervous. It's a gift...and a curse...minus the gift...)
• I'm pretty sure I saw one of the 3 Nephites working at In N Out. (I guess this isn't something I know for sure, but I'm about 80% sure)
• Breadsticks....are delicious.
• The temple is virtually empty between 7:30 and 8:57 in the morning. Thus, it is the best time to go.
• I need to start going to the temple during 2nd period again.
• Being number 7 in the world for a day on Doodle Jump should be considered a "great accomplishment" on the BYU application. Just in case you were wondering...it's not. (In the WORLD!! I mean really?!)
• There is no greater feeling in this world than walking into a tennis match, 100% sure you are going to lose, because she is the 4th seed in the tournament and you spent the entire season as the extra, and then in the third set, during the tie break, you're up at the net, face to face with your opponent, and, while looking her square in the eye, you hit a backhand volley that wins you the game. [Translation: epic wins feel pretty beeping good.]
• Not playing tennis for 4 months because of a knee injury is one thing, but not playing for 4 months....just because....is a downright crime.
• There is nothing more painful than losing the people who are most special to you.
• But, true friends are the ones who recognize and accept your imperfections, and then stick around anyways.
• I want to be able to make a difference in people's lives.

Last one...

• When you reach the realization that this has been probably the 100th day in a row that you've written in your journal "It's just been a rough day." nothing could possibly be a better remedy than somebody spontaneously showing up to my house with a bag of reeces pieces, or an almond joy...and giving me a really good hug.

That, I do know for sure. I just really need a hug.  :P

Love,
Kaela