Sunday Post #5

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Sometimes I feel ashamed of just how lazy I am. I've made a commitment not to do homework on Sundays, so I  feel like I take the whole "I'm not going to do work" thing a little too far. I blame my snuggie, and my extremely comfortable bed. Sometimes I cook on Sundays, but I didn't this week because I just didn't want to get off my bed. It's kind of pathetic...but it could be worse.

It's been 5 weeks since I did homework on a Sunday. Technically, the only homework I've done on a Sunday is making a PowerPoint, but I didn't really have much control over what day of the week I did that. Then today I made up a couple mnemonics to help me remember some terms and court cases for my mid-term on Tuesday. But I just kind of did that absent mindedly while I was taking a shower so I'm pretty sure that doesn't count. For what it's worth, they are pretty good. Maybe I'll make up some more tomorrow.

What I've noticed throughout this whole no Sunday homework challenge is that I've had time to get everything done. That doesn't necessarily mean I've been doing it all...or getting good grades...but I have had plenty of time to get stuff done. Even on weeks where I'm absolutely certain that I will have no time to do my homework, I'm still able to get it all done. Next I just need to work on motivating myself to do it...:S For what it's worth, anybody who has ever tried to calculate a Type II error knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyways, onto what I wanted to talk about this week. This will probably sound more like a "here are my personal struggles" post than a "here is why I love the scriptures!" post but...that should kind of show how my week went.

On Monday this week I had a long chat with my bishop's wife, who was my old yw leader when I first moved into the ward. I still absolutely love talking to her though, because she gives really great advice. Suffice to say, after talking to her I felt like a whole different person. On top of that, I decided that I was going to become a different person. That probably doesn't make much sense...but that's how I felt. So I decided to become this different person step by step.

Step one was not saying anything bad about anyone. I.E. no gossip, period.

It was WAY harder than I imagined it would be. I realized just how many things mean things I say, not because I'm trying to be mean but just because I'm naturally sarcastic and prone to impatience. It's harder than you would think, not yelling "You fag!!" when someone cuts you off.

I think Tuesday was the best day for me this week. I was still super humbled from Monday and determined to be a better person, and still feeling really inspired and genuinely happy and at peace with myself from everything I had learned and expressed the day before. I don't know how to explain why I was feeling so good, I just hope I can figure out how to feel like that more often. The only way I can describe it is that I kind of felt like I was full of light. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but that's really the only way I know how to describe it. It's hard to explain. Translation, Tuesday was awesome. I also did really well with my "saying nice things" challenge.

The rest of the week was a little harder. As the week went on, it kind of seemed like Satan was all "Trying to be good?! Trying to say only nice things?! Beep no!" and then an overwhelming amount of trials were dumped on my head so by the end of the week, I wasn't being very nice. Then realizing I had totally failed at my challenge to be nicer just made me really discouraged. So...it wasn't very good. I have a lot of different things I have to be very patient about. I'm also very ashamed to admit how bad I was before. I also realized just how many conversations I was left out of, which made me feel lonely and cuh-rappy.

I feel like my standards are challenged a lot for someone who lives in Provo. Mostly I feel that at church (irony at it's finest) but also sometimes at school. Especially now that I'm at UVU. Things work a little differently there than they do at Timpview.

But there is one talk that I discovered a while back that has always brought me comfort for circumstances like these. President Monson's "Dare To Stand Alone" talk, from Priesthood session (sometimes I think the men are spoiled with all the amazing talks they get to hear from Priesthood session) is so, so good. Please go read it.

I know that when I stand up for my beliefs, people aren't always going to respect me for it. Sometimes they will think that I'm "too Mormon" or something to that effect. But, I think the more I really study my scriptures and gain a testimony, the less I care what people think about me. Because I know it's true, and that is enough for me :)

Have a great day!

Love,
Kaela