It's A Wonderful Life

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Isn't that such a great movie?

Contrary to what you are probably thinking, this post is not about Christmas. It's about what happens when I go all philosophical for an hour when all my bottled up feelings for the past 3 quarters of a year suddenly explode and I...philosophize. I actually like philosophizing and analyzing things. Straaaange as that may sound.

So. I ended up thinking about alternate realities. Because I've had so many changes happen in my life recently that there are two very distinct and different (or so I thought) paths that I could have ended up on. And I wanted to know what my life would be like now if it had gone exactly how I had planned it to, instead of how its actually going right now.

I was pretty shocked at what I discovered. If I had lived in this alternate reality I so often think about, I would be EXACTLY where I am now, only I would be totally miserable, but I wouldn't realize it. Presumably. I wouldn't have had the certain life experiences I've had, I wouldn't have met a lot of people who have strongly influenced my life, and my life would be not much different than it is now. The only difference is...I wouldn't be in college...and I would have more fake friends than real ones. I would probably also have really low standards, and I probably wouldn't have a testimony of the church either.

Sooooooo. The thing is, I've been wondering if I made the right decisions about stuff...for the longest time. I've just really felt like this wasn't the path I was supposed to be on. But the thing is, I somehow knew I would be on this path, WAY before I had made ANY decisions that would lead me to eventually taking it. In 8th grade. I can remember the moment where it hit me that I KNEW it. And, if that is confusing to you...it's okay. Don't worry about it.

Bottom line, I am where I am supposed to be. And I REALLY want to know my future...but I know it's not going to happen until it happens. That, my friends, is called exercising patience.

Anyways, I hope you love being confused. Because that was what this was intended to do. Just kidding. This is just a classic example of Kaela philosophizing. Time to eat some pasta-roni. Yum!

Love,
Kaela