Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Maybe some of you have witnessed this. Maybe, some of you have not.
You and I are having a normal human conversation. Somehow (likely this part is my fault) college is brought up. We start talking about applications, where to go, etc, and I end up freaking out, grabbing my head, and walking away mumbling "college COLLEGE cOLlegE caaaaaaaawwwwwwwwlllllleeeeeeeegggggggeeeeee"

Just in case any of you were wondering, this is the scene taking place in my brain when that usually happens.

And before you freak out, I'm not insinuating that BYU is an ax-murderer. You wanna see a real picture of an ax murderer?

That wasn't very funny. Moving on...

Bottom line, I'm freakin stressed! I have no idea where to go to college. And I'm excited out of my mind, but also terrified too. So naturally, my brain goes into hyperactivetheresakillerintheroomoverdrive and I usually end up walking away, leaving whoever I'm talking to confused and a little bit scared.

Anyways, I'm really excited to kind of get out there on my own and not live with my parents, but room mates, and make new friends, learn new things...yeah.

But on the other hand, what if I can never pick a major?? What if everybody thinks I'm immature and decides to hate me? What if everyone hates me because I can't pick a major? What if I change my major like 7 bazillion times?? What if a guy asks me to marry him??!?!? What if I can't find a job?? What if I run out of money?? What if there is a zombie apocalypse?!

On top of that, the speakers on my computer don't work. So now I can't watch the live Coldplay show that they were going to broadcast, and I can't make a new ringtone for my phone, either. Pretty much, I'm falling back into that discouraged "I can't do anything right" mode, which is not good, but freakin look at BYU's application!!

"List 5 of your greatest accomplishments."

1. Well....once I was number 7 in the world for a day on Doodle Jump. I count that as one of my greatest accomplishments. It's pretty valid, right? If I put that on my application, would that be a hinderance more of a help?
2. Once I competed in a tennis tournament and beat the 4th seed. Technically this doesn't say anything about my tennis skills, but I wasn't expecting that to happen and it was the most intense and rewarding match I've ever played, especially since that season I was just the extra. And then I broke my freakin knee. See "minor setbacks"
3. Once, I fought a shark. Okay, so I didn't fight it, but I thought about fighting it. Okay, so the truth is, the closest I've ever been to fighting a shark was that time I saw a dolphin in Mexico, about 300 yards away.
4. I wrote a controversial article for my school newspaper that got my teacher in minor amounts of trouble and prevented me from getting accepted into Student Government (see minor setbacks)
5. I got maybe 5 or 6 percent of my senior class to start calling our principal "Uncle Toddy." Maybe a little less than that. I don't really know for sure.

Are you guys kind of seeing why I'm freaking out here? I've got nothing. And pretty much all I've eaten in the past week is gummy bears and Chinese/Thai food and I want to go out and buy 10,000 sweaters. And, I've broken out the electric blanket. It's only a matter of time before I go clinically insane, and then I really won't go to college.

It's okay though, I'm just going to live alone for the rest of my life, with a freakin domino farm of dalmatians and golden retrievers and fat stupid beagles and maybe a pomeranian or two and some black labs!! And a domesticated fox if I can pull that off cuz they have freakin bushy tails and the cutest faces ever. And all of my dogs are going to be named something stupid, like zip code or post office.

Eh. I'm just going to stop this while I'm ahead.

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