Friday, May 25, 2012

Things I Learned From The Senior All Night Party


  • The later it gets, the more fun stupid things seem to be.
  • I'm not really afraid of heights -- I'm afraid of falling
  • The more tired you get, the looser your standards become. This is a bad thing. But luckily...
  • Whoever said the Spirit goes to bed at midnight is not entirely correct. So I didn't end up doing anything too insane. Except for that 5 hour energy shot.
  • Five hour energy shots taste like alien pee. Also, they make me puke, or at least almost puke.
  • When your five hour energy shot wears off, it feels like a hangover. Or at least what I am assuming a hangover feels like.
  • The combination of 5 hour energy, helium, and chicken wings leaves you with a feeling commonly known as regret and indigestion.
  • Even though you are graduated, it doesn't really feel like it.
  • Walking around a carousel awesome.
  • The more people on a carousel, the more fun it is. Especially when the attendant doesn't care what you are doing.
  • The only reason I enjoyed Men In Black 3 was because I was watching it at 3 in the morning, and basically everything was funny at 3 in the morning.
  • Trying to fall asleep at 7 in the morning when the sun is coming up isn't exactly easy, no matter how tired you are.
  • After a crazy party like that, my brain goes into hyperdrive and my dreams are like inception times infinity. I can't even count how many dream within a dreams I woke up from last night. I mean this morning.
  • The sun rises in the east...not in the west. (I already knew this, but apparently yesterday at 6 in the morning I didn't.)
  • The more tired I get, the more my brain filter stops working and I just say everything I'm thinking. Sometimes this is good, other times this is bad.
  • I'm still bad at bowling.
  • Grilled cheese sandwiches are delicious, even when they are made with fake cheese.
  • Unlimited ski-ball is greater than or equal to pure joy.
  • Free food of a delicious nature in plenty gives me so much joy that I just want to scream. Which I did.
  • All night parties are fun. But it makes me sad that that's basically the last time I'll be together with my whole senior class, at a really fun, awesome establishment, with lots of free food and time to just run around acting crazy and doing fun things with your friends. Man, I am going to miss my senior friends so freaking much. Love you guys.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Kaela's Not-So-Realistic College Guide: Chapter 2. "The Underage"


I really don't know if I should call this chapter 2 of my unofficial not so realistic college guide...because it mostly plays off of my first "chapter." But since this is both unofficial and not so realistic, I guess it doesn't matter.

Go and read this.

Now let me recap. I am in two institute classes, the first being the second half of Book of Mormon, and the other being the Teachings of Thomas S. Monson. There are tons of married people in that class, and it is a little unnerving.

I really like it though. And I like my Book of Mormon class even more. Mostly because Brother Knowlton is AWESOME.

However, you should remember that I met someone who I referred to as a marriage hungry RM. HRM. He seemed very interested in me, and it scared the Schachter Two-Factor out of me. So I sketched out a list of ideas that I figured would be effective in scaring off a HRM. Today, I am going to tell you just how effective the "Underage" really is.

The thing about the Underage is that it probably doesn't happen that much in college. In this poor guys defense, he probably thought he was perfectly safe hitting on a girl in a college institute class.

Here is how our conversation went:

HRM: So did you go to FHE last night?
Me: Ummmmmm...nooooope.
HRM: Oh you bad girl. I'm in charge of all of the FHE groups.
Me: -thinking- geez how old is this guy? Yeah, I don't have an FHE group.
HRM: Oh, so you are in a family ward? Are you in primary?
Me: ok i'm not THAT young.

At this point, I knew what was coming. And I was trying so hard not to laugh just from the anticipation.

HRM: Haha! I meant do you teach primary?
Me: Oh, no. I'm in young womens.

What happened next was so priceless, so hilarious, that I do not know what part of my brain kicked in to keep me from completely losing it. The look on his face was one of shock, disgust and confusion. I thought to myself, my work here is done.

Recall that I said this method should be highly effective. And in most cases, I'm sure it would be. However, my story is not over.

I was walking out of class, and the HRM started to walk with me. In his confusion, he started asking questions: "So, is this your first semester in college? Did you graduate early?" I told him that this was my second semester in college, and I was graduating high school this Thursday. I kept playing the Underage card, and talked a lot about being a college freshmen at BYU, because it seemed to make him more disgusted. But when he told me I was making a mistake living in the dorms as a freshmen, I wanted to punch him in the face. And then he said something else, and I literally almost threw up.

"Yeah, I graduated in 2004. That means you must have been in 4th grade when I was a college Freshmen!"

Desperate to keep up the young card, I just said "yep, you're right!" and then I said goodbye and went to the library. That's when it hit me. This guy must be at least 10 years older than me.  I literally started gagging. I've already said that people who are at least 4 years older than me hitting on me makes me uncomfortable, but TEN?!!?!?!?!?!?!

This is where things started to make sense. It didn't matter that I was jailbait because I was turning 18 soon and for a guy who is basically an old man who really wants to get married, age differences like that simply don't matter.

The moral of this story is, The Underage still, theoretically, should work. And the looks on the faces of those you use it on is seriously one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed. But sometimes, the underage is not effective. At this point, it seems like if even the Underage won't work, it needs some reinforcements. I am not just giving up on this challenge. So next week, I think I will try to combine it with either the "I'm Waiting for Someone" or "I Have a Child." Stay tuned!


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Tribute to Seminary


Dear Seminary, it has been quite a long, strange, trip. And oh, has it been fun.

Seminary has had its ups and downs. But, today I graduated from seminary, and I couldn't be happier, especially considering two weeks ago I wasn't sure if I was going to graduate or not.

My very first seminary class I will always remember. I was just a little freshmen, but honestly, it was the Juniors and Seniors who made it great. And Brother Barrow. I love that man. I loved his lessons, and I remember being so sad when that class ended.

My second teacher was Sister Anthony. I absolutely loved her, I loved her lessons, and I especially loved the goofy songs we sang to memorize scripture mastery. I remember a year after I had taken her class I was sitting in my room, too scared to sleep because I had just watched a scary movie, and the only scriptures I had memorized were the ones I had learned from her. So I started singing those scripture mastery verses to calm myself down.

My testimony was on the rocks when I started high best. But seminary sparked some new life into my dying little testimony, and I don't think I would be where I am today if it wasn't for seminary.

My sophomore year things were just as good. I had Brother Boyce, who I actually don't remember hardly at all. But I do remember that it was a really good class and I learned some great things about the Book of Mormon.

Brother Martin was one of my favorite teachers. He was hilarious, and to this day I still remember some of the lessons he gave. I loved learning about the Book of Mormon so much. My testimony of the Book of Mormon grew much stronger after I learned about it in seminary.

Junior year things started to get a little rocky. I had Brother Wilcox my first semester, and I loved him, as well as that class. I made a lot of great friends in that class, and I learned some really cool stuff about D&C. That was the semester I ever ditched seminary, was for a good cause.

Next semester I had Brother Roberts. They tried to put me in Brother Pierce's class but for some very odd reason I requested that they put me in Brother Robert's class. To this day, I know my life would have been very different if I had not made that request...but I try not to think about it. Haha. I learned some good lessons from being in Bro. Robert's class. However, that was the first semester where I really didn't like going to seminary. And I did skip a few times. However, it was through doing makeup with Matt in Brother Barrow's class that I learned one of the best lessons I've ever gotten out of seminary: Learning about the gospel is so much more fulfilling when you are with your friends.

My senior year the decision to take early morning was...not the smartest decision I've ever made. I am not a morning person, and for the first time I realized that going to seminary was not as fulfilling as I had remembered it. Because, well, you can't learn much if you aren't awake. Brother Kearns was a really great teacher though, and we had some pretty great lessons.

Second semester was where everything fell apart and then somehow came together into a very grand seminary finale. I tried to do early morning again with Brother Drysdale, but I was racking up the absences with how much I missed because of college, and plain old sleeping in. It was then that I remembered the lesson I had learned at the end of my junior year: Learning about the gospel is so much more fulfilling when you are with your friends.

So I made a decision. This was the last seminary class I was ever going to have, so I was going to go out of my way to make it great. So I started doing makeup in Brother Dykstra's class, and I realized the same thing I had the year before: that I loved the class I was doing makeup in a lot more than the class I was actually enrolled in. So I transferred into Brother Dykstra's class. That was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I loved that class. Those were some of the best lessons I had ever had in my four years of seminary. I loved learning with my friends. And Brother Dykstra was the best teacher I've ever had. He helped me get all of my absences made up, he let me transfer into his class at the beginning of 4th term, even though I missed class a bunch, and he honestly helped me out a lot more than I ever deserved. That's the thing I really love about seminary versus institute. In seminary, the class feels more like a family, and you feel much more of a connection with your teachers. I don't even know the name of one of my institute teachers. But, institute is still great, and I would highly recommend going.

Two weeks ago, I didn't know if I would be graduating seminary, but Brother Dykstra pulled some strings and helped me get that diploma. The fact that there was the fear that I wouldn't be receiving it made actually getting it all the better. I felt so happy today, seeing so many people who had come to support me - my family, my young women's leaders, was a truly remarkable experience.

I will always hold a special place in my heart for the memories I have of seminary. I don't know where I would be now without seminary, but I can honestly say it has absolutely changed my life for the better. These last four years have truly been amazing.

I hope the goodbye I said to seminary today isn't forever. I have a feeling it might only be temporary.


Life is Great: Part 2


No more anger.

No more bitterness.

No more resentment.

No more spiteful remarks.

No more of that bitter, sour, nasty feeling I get in my stomach.

I am so happy for you.

I am so proud of you.

You are going to do great things.

I mean it.


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Life is Like a Clock on Steroids


Today was my last day of seminary. Ever.

One week from today I will graduate and be done with high school. Forever.

I was thinking about it during seminary today and I realized that I am a completely, COMPLETELY different person now than I was when I was a freshmen. I can't even call that girl me because, it just couldn't have been me. We are so different. There is no way that girl is Kaela Carter. It's impossible.

Of course, Freshmen me was a complete psycho. So that could be it, too.

But it just feels like yesterday was my first day of high school and now I'm graduating! It's like I walked in the doors, blinked, and now I'm wearing a cap and gown. All in the space of four years.

You know what that means. I'm going to blink again, and I'll be married...and pregnant! Okay, I can't blink. I don't want to get preggers. (Just kidding, I know you don't make babies by just blinking. Haha! That was a funny joke...)

But seriously. Time is moving by way too fast. So, mr. time man, take it easy, alright?

I need more time to act immature and get away with it. (I guess that's what freshmen year at BYU is for though).

Ah, what the heck, I'm ready to be done with high school. I'm so excited to move out.

Life is great :)
I mean it.


Saturday, May 12, 2012

"We Are A Temple Building People!"


Today, I had the magnificent opportunity to participate in a historical event. The groundbreaking for the Provo City Center Temple. (....Provo Tabernacle Temple...)

I was so blessed to get tickets, and I ended up going with my mom and brother. We went pretty early, and were able to get seats directly behind the section marked off for stake presidents. There was about an hour and a half wait, so I worked on some stuff on my laptop while my brother and mom read. It was kind of cold, too. There was also a hot air balloon flying RIGHT NEXT to the tabernacle, and I couldn't help thinking that if that hot air balloon caught the tabernacle on fire...again...I would probably dig myself a grave right where I was sitting, and then just stay there for the rest of forever. Luckily, nothing happened.

But, the ceremony was amazing. It was really cool to be able to look back at how far we've come since the day the tabernacle burned down. The last time I had stood at the site of the tabernacle was when my mom and I drove there the morning it burned down. It was so amazing to see, a year and a half later, even though the tabernacle was just a burned out shell, it still looked bright and majestic. All of the speakers talked about the history of the temple and how important it is to the people of Provo. It was really touching.

Then Elder Holland's wife spoke, and her talk was really good. And then Elder Holland spoke. And basically...yeah. He is awesome.

The thing about Elder Holland is that he always looks so intense during general conference. But he was super perky during his talk, and even said that he was "Downright giddy!!"
He explained how we are making history, since this is the largest gathering there will ever be at the site of the tabernacle. He talked about the significance of there being two temples within a mile of each other.
However, my favorite part of his talk was when he talked about a groundbreaking being symbolic of faith. He talked about how the pioneers had tried and failed many times to build temples, but kept getting kicked out of their towns they had built, and the discouragement they felt. So when they got to Salt Lake and Brigham Young said they were going to build a temple, there were probably people who were thinking, "You really think that's gonna happen?"

I didn't get the exact quote from Brigham Young that Elder Holland gave, but paraphrasing, it went something like "I do not know if we will be able to enjoy the fruits of our labors for this temple....but this I do know. We are a temple building people...we will build a temple wherever we go!"

It was a really powerful example of faith, and it made me think of the groundbreaking in a whole new perspective. He then explained how a groundbreaking is actually an ordinance that we will all get to take part in. Then, he announced that he would be giving the dedicatory prayer to dedicate the site. The way he led up to it really made it seem like everyone in the audience was actually a real part of it all. It was nuts.

And then he said the prayer. I've heard a dedicatory prayer once before in my life. But just think about Elder Holland's conference talks. He gives pretty good conference talks. He gives even better prayers. It was the most beautiful prayer I have ever heard, and the moment he said "we dedicate this site" it was like a spiritual wave went through the crowd, and I could actually feel the difference -- that I was actually sitting on dedicated ground. It was such an incredible thing to witness.

After that, Elder Holland and all of the other general authorities and their wives came down and broke ground. Here is my attempts at a picture of that:

I hope that is big enough...people were going crazy with their cameras at this point.

After that, a million other important city people came up and got a chance to dig and get their picture taken and whatnot. And then they turned it over to us! They told us that we were welcome to come break ground and take pictures, as long as we did so in an orderly manner. So my mom and brother and I braved the crowd, and were actually able to literally participate in the ground breaking!

That....was a really awesome experience. The cool thing about the rack holding the shovels, is they made that out of old beams they salvaged from the tabernacle. Neat, huh?

After that, Elder Holland was on the stand shaking hands with people, so we went up to meet him. We were all kind of gathered around the stand and he was shaking hands with everyone around it. Sadly, my arms were too short, so I was not able to reach enough to shake his hand. I was a little disappointed, but I will always have the tennis ball incident. First my arms were too sweaty, and now they were too short. Someday I will shake his hand.

It was funny, because for how intense he acts in conference, he is SO nice and friendly. He was shaking everyone's hands and he was all "I wish I could shake everyone's hands! Can I just wave??" and he waved at all of us. He was smiling and laughing and it was really cool! I even got a close up picture of him:

Still looking intense. Haha. But see! I was literally right behind that girl he was talking to! Ah!!

After that, we took more pictures around the temple:

Just the place I'm gonna get married. Nbd.

Not a tabernacle anymore!

And then we went home! What a blessing, and an experience I will never forget.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Kaela's Not-So Realistic College Guide: Chapter 1. Marriage Hungry Males


Well folks, today was my first day of institute. That's right, I haven't given up on UVU just yet. I'm taking two institute classes, because I figured that I wasn't doing much with my life and I needed something to preoccupy myself. So I'm taking the second half of Book of Mormon and a class called "The Teachings of Thomas S. Monson" which is an extremely cool class. Oh, and Book of Mormon is taught by Brother Knowlton. When I promised myself that I would not graduate high school until I had taken a class from him, I meant it.

There are many other, more complicated reasons I decided to take two institute classes back to back. All of which I will probably never share on this blog. However, I am not here to talk about why I am taking institute this summer, or even how great my classes are (because, just accept that they are. I'm pretty excited.)

I am here today to blog about this. Remember this puppy? Note the part where I said "Return missionaries can sometimes be likened to a pack of hungry wolves, on the prowl for an unsuspecting female they can eat. I mean marry." Well I was joking. Half joking. That is a stereotype I throw around a lot, but after my first semester of college where not only did zero marriage hungry RM's try to eat me, but any guy I interacted with thought I was a porn addict, (I miss those days. More than I can possibly, rationally express) I realized that my fears of crossing one of these stereotyped marriage crazed RM's were pretty irrational.


Before I get into what happened, I have a confession to make. I, in my college experience, have already formed some rather bad habits. Skipping class was one of them, but it ended up being a win win situation because I still passed both of my classes.
My other bad habit was lying. Lying about who I really am. I had too much pride to admit that I was not only still in high school, but not even a legal adult yet. I don't really see why I've done that...I really just wanted to fit in, but I also could have totally bragged about it. "Yeah...I'm 17...a sophomore in high school [meant to say college there...that's awkward] big deal..."

I will come back to that in a moment. But now, I am going to tell you what happened on this fateful spring day in May.

I walked into my Book of Mormon class and sat in the back because I was late. Brother Knowlton had us introduce ourselves to the people around us, so the guy I sat down next to turned to me and started talking. Within seconds, I realized that he was what I fear most: a marriage hungry return missionary.

All of the signs were there, I promise. Every time I try to explain this I end up sounding like a jerk, so suffice to say that I knew exactly what was going through his mind and it scared the Schachter Two Factor out of me. As in, I started to feel the physiological symptoms of fear, so I cognitively labeled my emotion as fear. Eh, eh, still remember psychology after the test, because of my great mnemonic device!! Whatup buddy!!

Ahem. Anyways, after that whole experience that left me shaking, I walked into the UVU library and I almost started to cry. Not because of the experience I had just had, but because the library reminds me of delicious cinnamon bagels. And I did not have any way to get a cinnamon bagel. Because...I left my wallet at home. So I went and got on a computer...without a cinnamon bagel. And I thought of all the great times I'd had in that library...eating cinnamon bagels.

I had a cinnamon bagel yesterday during the AP Psych test...let me tell was delicious. I loved the way it made my hands all sticky.

Moooooooooving on.

While I was sitting in the library, I decided that I needed a plan for the next time I encounter a marriage hungry RM, or in reality a marriage hungry male of any size shape or form. Please understand that I don't hate RM's by any means...I am just terrified of the ones who think they need to get married RIGHT AWAY. Also, it scares me when older guys try to flirt with me. In fact it makes me really, really uncomfortable.

So, my friends, these are the solutions my brain came up with.

The Underage
Also known as the "Jailbait," this method requires the you to inform the marriage seeker that you are under 18 and still in high school. This is what I should have done, but didn't.

Effectiveness: This should be highly effective, if you are, for the most part, being truthful. I'm sure the older and farther into college you get, the less believable it is. Especially if you are say, living in the dorms. If this method is not effective, and you are actually still technically considered "jailbait" then feel free to combine it with another method, such as the....

"I'm Waiting for Someone"
This requires you to inform the marriage seeker that your lover has gone away...for 24 some foreign land...wearing a tie! Casually slipping it into the conversation is the most practical way to go

Effectiveness: I honestly don't know how effective this is, but I'm sure there will come a day when I will test it out. I really think it depends on how determined the guy is. For the most part, I think it should be moderately effective, but not nearly as effective as the...

Fake Wedding Ring
I don't have the words to describe this, so I drew a picture.

I didn't draw these, but I feel like they also portray just how effective this method is.

Effectiveness: Highly effective. Basically about as effective as it gets. This is so effective it hurts. A ring on your left hand ring finger will work not unlike a magical force field. The only way this may lose some of its effectiveness is if the guy starts asking about your husband, because then you have to start making up stuff on the spot, unless you planned out a story already. Which would be a little weird. But not as weird as the...

"I Have a Child"
It's worth a shot.

Effectiveness: Unknown. This also falls under the category of doing weird things in general. Some of which include, but are not limited to...dancing, burping, crying, rapping, making weird noises with your throat, talking excessively about cats, etc.
"Totally Clueless"
This is the method I tried, and I'm just gonna say right now that it doesn't work. It involves reverting back to a primitive state of non intelligence where you realize you don't know how to interact with this type of human being so you do what comes naturally, which in my case unfortunately involved acting clueless and lying about myself to feed the prideful monster inside of me....and I did not use any of the aforementioned methods.

Effectiveness: It isn't.

Now, these methods are not 100% guaranteed. In the same way taking medicine and eating an apple every day is not 100% guaranteed to keep you from getting sick. This is why people invest in health insurance.

And THIS is why I invest in TEMPLE INSURANCE!!!

2015, baby. 2015.


P.S. This blog was not meant to be offensive to anyone. I don't have anything against return missionaries, I have everything against people who are willing to marry any girl in the room as long as she knows how to breathe and birth children. There, of course, are much more logistic reasons for why I am terrified to get married too young and even why I am writing this blog....I just want you all to understand that I'm not a hater of RM's...I'm just afraid of really weird things. Like, getting my face wet for example. And backtracked music. So...lets not judge. The end.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Life is Great: Part 1


Life is great. That is one of my favorite things to say. Because I only say it if I absolutely mean it.

So why am I happy?

Well, I'm tired of being sad. Instead of taking the hard things in life head on, I just let them wear me down until I emotionally can't take it anymore But, just in the past week, I have shot up from absolute rock bottom status to life is great status. In just a week. I can look in the mirror and the girl looking back at me is smiling and happy. And I love it. Life really is great.


Life is great because I passed my government final, even though I only ended up going to class for half the time. I got 85 out of 100, which I was not expecting, but all of this means that I am going to graduate high school. I also got an A in my English class. Woo!

Life is great because next week I am starting summer institute. I am taking Book of Mormon from Brother Knowlton, and then another class completely devoted to the teachings of President Monson. That means three and a half hours of institute every Tuesday and Thursday. Why? Because I'm insane. And it is going to be so much fun. I am so, SO excited.

Life is great because I get to go to the Provo Tabernacle Temple groundbreaking. I am so excited to hear Elder Holland speak, and watch as construction on the temple finally begins. 2015!!!

Life is great because it is summer and it is beautiful outside and I can finally wear shorts as much as I want.

Life is great because on Monday I got to see my cousin Emma, who I hadn't seen in about a year and a half, and she is basically the coolest person ever, so we had a lot of fun.

Life is great because I am graduating in 20 days, and I get to go to an EPIC all night party and hang out with all of my fellow senior friends. Speaking of graduation, I really don't know what to do for the camera at graduation. I've been thinking about this for three years! I need something clever to do! Ah!!

Life is great because I saw Avengers last night, and it was AMAZING. Easily one of the best movies I have ever seen. Definitely somewhere in my top 5...but I'm going to have to see it again when I'm not super tired. Midnight showings are totally worth it though.

Life is great because I am no longer worried about anything. I have received closure and assurance for every single problem I've faced for the past...very long time. And wow, it feels really good.

Life is great because, after next week, I don't have to go to work for the next two weeks. It'll be really nice to have that vacation.

Life is great because this chapter of my life is coming to an end. And while I'm sad about that, sad about graduating and moving on, I'm also unbelievably excited. I'm so excited to see what my new life will be like.

Sooooo life is great! Nuff said :D