Saturday, December 31, 2011

Gotta Get This Out Before The New Year


I'm making a new years resolution to be nicer to people, and nicer and happier in general, but I still have 12 hours left of this year, so I'm getting this out while I still can.

Here are a list of things that severely annoy me.

Humans (especially of the male species).
People who call Seven Peaks thinking we're the Ice Arena
Textbooks that cost more money than I am willing to spend for a small paperback book.
High school
The fact that all of my friends going to UVU have class on Monday/Wednesday/Friday and I have class Tuesday/Thursday.
Running out of makeup, makeup smearing, and the fact that my nail polish never lasts longer than a week.
Losing chapstick
When my tennis stuff is collecting dust because I haven't played in so long.
Whenever my mom says she won't buy me easy mac because it's too expensive
When my favorite pen runs out of ink
People lying to me. Or lying to me about lying to me. Or breaking a promise. Stuff like that.
Coldplay not coming to Utah for their Mylo Xyloto tour
When I'm the only Laurel in young womens at church on Sundays
When I have to leave my house but I have nowhere I can go

oohh. But you know what?? I just discovered that my snuggie has a pocket for my FEET!!!

Life is great. Life is very great.


Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Guilty Pleasure That Will Inevitably Screw Me Over


Let's face it, my fellow 2 Y-chromosomed friends. There is an epidemic, and we are all as good as dying from the disease that is


Except I'm not here to whine about how much time I waste on Pinterest because I've actually kept considerable control of myself, considering the fact that I now have the resources to sit on my bed while simultaneously blogging and pinning and wasting my time (which is actually exactly what I'm doing right now, but I'm on vacation so it doesn't count). I will not turn to the dark side that is laziness.

So I vowed when I signed up for Pinterest that I wouldn't waste too much of my time. That being said, a person (such as myself) could argue that Pinterest is like evil incarnate. It's all about coveting crap you'll never have.

And so, I placed a mental destroying angel in front of the Weddings tab because I knew if I looked there too often I would start turning heavy objects into projectiles. Because seriously, it's like a plethora of "If You Ever Find A Man As Great As MINE Then Your Wedding Still Won't Be As Adorable As Mine Was So Go Cry Into A Pillow You Sad Lonely Child."

Actually, for the record, I am never getting married. That's not true. But I have no desire to any time soon. In fact if I ever try to get married too early, kidnap me so I can't. And if I try to get married outside the temple, burn down my house and kidnap me so I can't. And if I'm trying to get married too early outside the temple, kidnap me, burn down my house, and kill my dog. I'm just kidding on that last one. If you kill my dog, I will burn your house down.

Bottom line, I learned my lesson when I spent an hour on the Weddings tab the first day I signed up for Pinterest. And I promised never to do it again.

That being said, I discovered a new tab to obsess and obsess and obsess and drool over.

The foods tab.

This is the only time I will ever say this, in fear that some ugly man will try to marry me just because I said it. But here goes.

I LOVE to cook. Finding new recipes for foods that sound beyond delicious is like a sick pleasure for me. I discovered the food tab on Pinterest a few days before Christmas, which led to happiness from my relatives. I was told my rolls were 'decadent.' I didn't know what that word meant, so I just smiled and said thanks. In fact I still don't know what that word means, so I hope I did the right thing...

But, I'm not here to brag about how I can arrange ingredients so that they will taste good. Because for all we know I could be a terrible cook and decadent actually means revolting and everyone else is just trying to make me feel good.

 I'm here to say that I'm ADDICTED. This whole finding recipes on Pinterest is making me crazy. There is so much I want to make!! There are a few problems with this. I'm not a huge fan of eating. Well, I am. I can eat a lot if I really have to. Like if someone challenged me to eat a giant hamburger, I would, because I have a reputation to keep up with. But I don't cook because I like to eat. So I usually don't eat the stuff I make. Sometimes my family does, but usually they are all "don't cook or we'll get fat." So now, thanks to Pinterest, I have all these recipes I want to try and nobody to feed. Life is cruel.

I make food because I want other people to eat it. And I'll use any excuse I can come up with. Usually it's because I owe somebody a favor. For example: "Oh you broke your leg? Here are some cookies. I crashed my car and you're letting me leave work for a few hours and then come back? Here are some cookies. Oh it's Christmas? Here is a giant feast. Are you sure I can't cook the turkey? Well then I'll just make these rolls. Aha! Now you're wishing I had cooked the turkey."

Anyways, I love it when I cook and then other people eat my food. But what I love even more is cooking with other people. For some reason nothing is more fun to me than cooking with other people. Dates, hanging out, making food for various school projects, you name it. Cooking with friends is like the funnest thing in the WORLD for me. Some of my best memories come from making food with other people. Morp, the various times I made curry (including the chicken incident), making cookies with Aubrey and Kate when my dog ate them and we did NOT go on the roof...see what I mean? Just thinking about all of this is making me happy. And hungry.

See why men I date can't know about this? They'll be all "make me a sammich!" and then I'll be all "screw you!" and it won't end well. So don't tell anyone, okay?

So now, thanks to Pinterest, I have all these crazy desires to get married and feed people. I'm turning into a stereotype wife and I'm still 17, single, and living under the impression that I will probably be raising a family of dogs and ferrets (they are cute and wriggly, I don't care if they smell bad.)

This sucks.

P.S. I'm also totally serious about all of that stuff about burning my house down and locking me up.

The Strange Things That Go On Inside My Head


Last night, I stayed up until probably about 1 in the morning... philosophizing. Kind of. I just couldn't stop thinking. About eeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyy llllllliiiiiiittttttttttttttttlllllllleeeeeeeee ttttttttttttthhhhhhhiiiiinnnnnggggggg that I've been worried about recently. I wasn't worrying about those things...I was just thinking about them. It was weird. And then I fell asleep. Had a dream about a red baseball hat. Then I woke up in a bed that is not mine. Because I'm on vacation. Don't be creeped out.


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Once I Was The Grinch


This was probably the worst Christmas I have ever experienced. I know that complaining about Christmas is about the worst thing a person can do besides suffocating a puppy in a plastic bag, but was a nightmare. You always see movies where a Christmas is going really badly but then somehow in the end everything gets better...and because Santa is real and the sprit and magic of Christmas is somehow very real, it did end up that way, eventually. But seriously, 99% of my day was pretty darn bad. I won't go into detail, but think extreme nausea, angry family members, and intense emotional trauma...and that isn't even half of it. By 11:30 in the morning I was laying in my bed bawling my eyes out and wishing I was dead.

Today wasn't all bad though. Church was actually really, really good. (Except during the sacrament when I felt like every force of nature was trying to make me vomit. That would have been extremely bad.) But, at the very end of the meeting the combined wards suddenly had a surprise choir and about a third of the people got up and sang and it sounded really amazing and the spirit was really strong and afterwards we were standing around saying "Merry Christmas" to each other and I was just like "Yeah this is great I love Christmas!"

After that, it was one train wreck after another. And I was sitting in here blogging about how the Grinch had nothing on how horrible my Christmas was when Santa showed up to explain a few things to me. Santa is real, and he is magical, and I can't explain it, but there really isn't any other explanation for it.

Basically, my day was rotten. But Christmas was not. I had been so absorbed in all the terrible things that were happening that I forgot to be happy about the real reason we even have Christmas.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I have officially decided that. Because it's Christmas that we get to spend time with our families, where we are encouraged to show love and service and most importantly remember Christ's birth. What a wonderful blessing! This Christmas, I didn't care about presents, all I wanted was to be able to bond with my family and friends. And when I didn't seem to get that, I was totally bummed. But I wasn't looking hard enough.

First of all, Yon Soo Park is one of the best friends I've ever had. If anyone was there for me today, it was her. No matter how irrational I was being, she tried to cheer me up. I kind of feel like Santa just stuffed her in my stocking this year, only that didn't really happen. Also, that's kind of weird. Yon Soo, if you're reading this...don't think I'm creepy. I'm really just saying thanks.

Second of all, I did get to spend time with my family. Even though some weird stuff definitely went down, I still had the opportunity to see my family that I don't get to see very often and spend the holiday with them.

So maybe I did feel angry and sad and my family was being angry and weird and I felt like I was going to throw up all day. But in the end, I did get what I wanted for Christmas: just more time with my family and friends.

Just like in the Grinch, through having the crummiest Christmas of all time, it helped me realize what the true meaning of Christmas really is: VENGEANCE!

Just kidding. It's love, remembering Christ's birth and giving thanks! And I couldn't be more thankful for this totally crummy Christmas I experienced.

Merry Christmas!!


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Justin Bieber's Drummer Boy: The Truth Finally Revealed

This post is going to take me a while to write, because I really want to take time and thought into this.

I need to express why Drummer Boy is such a great song.

Now that it's Christmas Eve, and I've been working on this post for a couple weeks, I hope that everything I say here can somehow sum up why I love this song so much.

To start, Dan Bergstein partially agrees with me, but when I read what he said, I made what we'll call a gleeful noise, because it's pretty much exactly what I've been thinking, and the fact that Dan said it makes me happy, even though my respect for him has dropped quite a bit since his Harry Potter blogs suck. But I actually got this quote from a Harry Potter blog.

"Justin Bieber's "Drummer Boy" (feat. Busta Rhymes) is the best/worst Christmas song this year, and I laugh when he sings, "I'm a poor boy too." And Busta's rapping ramblings are the very reason God gave us ears. It's like a train wreck for your listening holes."

Aubrey Glazier inspired me to go listen to some 80's rap Christmas songs. When Ghetto Santa by Spyder D wasn't enough, I started clicking on the related videos. Ludacris's "Ludachristmas" was definitely something, Snoop Dogg's "A Pimp's Christmas Song" seemed promising, and then I even listened to a Busta Rhymes feat. Jim Carrey Grinch song. But none of those even came close to making the same impression on me that Drummer Boy did.

Drummer Boy is currently my ringtone, making it one of my favorite songs. I explained why in my Psychology homework:
"Okay. Um….all I can say about that song is that it’s like a wonderful train wreck for your ears. (Dan quote) I’m a Bieber fan (don’t hate) and to hear his attempts at rapping are amazing. Also, Busta Rhymes rapping about egg nog and chinchillas has never happened before on a Christmas song, ever. I actually really don’t like the original version of Drummer Boy. I think it’s creepy. But Justin Bieber combined with Busta Rhymes, rapping about Christmas, and charity, makes this song strangely one of the most delightful things I've ever heard. I could never be angry while listening to this song, no matter how hard I tried. It’s like trying to be mad while cuddling with a cute, tiny little puppy."

I know that every single person reading this post probably strongly disagrees with me. I've heard many people express that they would rather get eaten by a bear with acid teeth than listen to this song. So, haters, this is all I have to say: I'm not going to tell you to love the Biebs, or listen to his music, or cry into a pillow with his face on it every night because you know he will never even know your name (I don't do that...). I love this song because I have never heard anything like it, ever. And I'm a fan of unique things. The fact that it's Justin Bieber  just makes it ten times better (in my opinion).

So this Christmas season, take a moment to think "you know, maybe this song isn't so bad. Maybe it's so bad, it's good." Just take a moment to think...differently. To try to appreciate the weird things in life.

In the words of Justin Bieber, "I'm a drummer boy, so do."

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Calm Before The Storm...continued.

Yeah, the storm has definitely hit.

And it is a whole lot worse than I expected.

Life is great.

On a positive note...

I got a new laptop. And a new hair color. Both of which I am totally in love with.

So if you notice an increase in the amount of blog posts I start throwing out...

Don't hate.

On a final note (I'm totally late for work)

Ford < Toyota Nissan LEAF

That is all


Saturday, December 17, 2011

My Grown Up Christmas List [A Somewhat Serious Post]


Christmas is in 8 days. And whenever people ask me what I want, I never know what to tell them. I'm not saying I'm mature (cuz I'm not) but I think I've reached a level of maturity where I don't really want somebody to give me a material gift for Christmas. Actually, there is one thing that I do want.

That's right. I want a diamond studded watch.


Time! Something more precious to me than even this fancy diamond studded watch would be time.

Here's the thing. Material posessions are easily broken, forgotten or lost. Eventually, you just lose interest in them. Also, you have to buy a warranty for them. Or insurance, or something.

But guess what is resistant to ALL of those things, something that can never be broken, hard to forget about, and you don't need to buy insurance for: Memories!

For Christmas, I just want time. Time to spend with my friends and family, and all the people who I may never see again after graduation, or at least won't see for a long time.

You can't wrap up a memory and stick it under a Christmas tree. But I would rather have an empty tree and a heart full of good times, cherished moments, and unforgettable memories. I would rather have the simple experience of hanging out with a friend, watching Tangled or something...than to get to open a bunch of presents on Christmas morning that I'm just going to forget about.

Great, now I'm getting choked up thinking about how much I'm going to miss all my friends once school ends.

The point is, I love you all very very much. And growing up is scary, but the hardest part is thinking that I'm never going to see some of my best friends ever again. Some statistic says that you never see 70% of your high school friends after graduation, but i'm in AP Stats so I don't even believe in statistics anyways, and now I'm rambling.

I guess what I'm saying is, no material item could ever compare memories that, no matter how old I get I'll always be able to remember and keep in my heart.

Unless I get dementia. In which case, go ahead and buy me that diamond studded watch.

Juuuust kidding.

I love you all! Merry Christmas!
Kaela :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Crushed Phalange

6 days ago, an appendage of a person's hand got slammed by the garage door. Not a tear was shed, but she lay on the floor so as not to pass out, so great was the agony she felt. The wound bled for an extended moment. Once her head was clear, she attended to the deep cut, and then made lunch.

6 days later, the wound hurt as bad as before. Whenever the person put pressure on the appendage, all she felt was extreme agony up and down the appendage. But she had to type up her psychology notes, and she wanted to blog. So she wrote a whole blog, and used not her hurt appendage. So she forgoed the use of 2 letters from the alphabet through the whole blog, so as to prevent as much of the torture as she could. The blog was very hard and very fun to type.

The blog was also very dumb.
the person whose appendage hurts very very much.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Google is pretty much the bomb.

Google is amazing. If you don't believe me, open up Google Chrome and type into Google "do a barrel roll"

And if that doesn't amaze you, type this: (sqrt(cos(x))*cos(400*x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.4)*(4-x*x)^0.1 into google and be prepared to feel warm and happy about your life.

Both of those have to be done in Google Chrome, or it doesn't work and I look like an idiot. pretty much it.

You all have a great day!


Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Calm Before the Storm


Today is December 11th. In 10 days, on the 21st, a storm is going to hit. And it's gonna be big. The only break I might get is when I'm gonna be in Portland for Christmas. As it would happen, I know two guys on their missions there, and I might get to visit one of them. That would be awesome. After I get home, I'll run around frantically for 2 weeks, and then I'll be in college.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that a lot of big things are about to happen, all at once, and my life is gonna be pretty hectic. Metaphorically speaking, if I were a snake, it's like I'm shedding my skin and starting a new life. Because... I always imagined that the day I started college my new life would begin. And it's so true. I feel WAY different now...but I'm still a goofy 17 year old.

Anyways, if you notice me starting to go seriously insane, because there is a good chance of that...just...pat me on the back and feed me ice cream. with peaches. and give me a hug. Because, I think I'm gonna be needing it soon.

Kay-ra (asian accent.)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Santa Clause, Skateboards, December 3rd, Hamlet, Hot Chocolate, Tour Angst and Maj Struggs.


I think I've hit that point where I'm officially addicted to blogging. Everytime I'm bored, I come here...just because. Then I think "Why are there no new posts?! HUH?! WHAT GIVES PEOPLE?! How dare you have lives!!" And then I'm all "new post!" So I start writing.

I haven't written anything in 3 days, and I felt like it had been eternity. But you know what, I'd rather be addicted to this than Facebook. But once I get my can just expect a lot more dumb posts on here.

So this is just another jolly old update on life.

In English...where to begin? Jim is so great. And I'm really sad that he shaved his beard, because I was hoping he would dress up as Santa the day before Christmas break or something. I finally learned to appreciate Hamlet, and Tuesday night I spent a sizeable chunk of time fantasizing/analyzing what it would be like if Hamlet was my boyfriend. Um...I don't want you to read too much into that. And I feel like I say that to people a lot. But really, I was just like, "If Hamlet was my boyfriend, I would feel sorry for him because his dad died. I guess I would want to be there for him. But he is a total sexist, and he hates all women and cracks dirty jokes. So I would have dumped him ages before he killed my dad. And if he did kill my dad, I would get my revenge on him! Not go jumping in a river!" and then...yeah. Just...yeah. Suffice to say that Hamlet can be useful in some situations.
Jim is also having us answer letters to Santa. Here is the letter I got.
"Dear Santa. This year I have been really good at school. I will try hard to learn. I would like a skateboard please. From, Wyatt. P.S. How does a skateboard work?" (Times that by infinite amounts of cute, cuz the handwriting is all....little kid like....I told Tosha that I wanted a farm of little kids to write me Santa letters, suffice to say...yeah.) My reply was not as creative as I would have liked, because I had to keep in mind that I was writing to 6 year olds who don't know what the word "pulchritudinous" means.

Next, Journalism. I had to go around and get a bunch of free samples of hot chocolate so I could write my article. It really sucked. But, I discovered that The Cocoa Bean has the world's best hot chocolate and I wanted to cry when I tasted it because it was so good. And if anyone ever wants to go get hot chocolate with me, ever...I love getting hot chocolate. So hit me up. Unrelated, but I was sitting in seminary today when I realized that there isn't bacon in heaven. I almost started crying there too. Anyways, hot chocolate is good and it's what makes winter almost worth it. I just wish it would snow!

Tour Angst. So I'm going on tour, and I'm just really stressed. Just kidding. Actually, the truth is, Coldplay came out with a new album in October, called Mylo Xyloto. And I bought it and I love it. But I was SO excited for their new album because that meant a new tour! And I foolishly didn't go to their Viva la Vida show when they came to Utah so pretty much....this is it. And I've seriously been checking their website every day to see if they've posted their North American tour dates. And when I saw their tweet today to check out the North American tour dates, I pretty much freaked out and went to their website...and guess which state is not listed on the North American tour........................................................................

sigh. That sound you just heard was the crushed hopes of a poor girl who has been dreaming of going to a Coldplay concert for the past 3 years. :(

Anyways, on to maj struggs. So, I bought my first textbook a few days ago. And I was soooooo excited. And then they sent me the instructor's copy and I was So I sent it back, and the people were really, really rude to me, and I was like, thank you so much for making me feel wonderful about college. So then I ended up finding a cheaper copy, and it got shipped to me in a DAY because the person I bought it from lives in Provo! Of all the students selling their books on Amazon, the cheapest one just happened to live right by me. So, that made me feel better about college. But then I bought my second textbook today and I was just like, yep, textbooks are really expensive, which totally stinks.

Last thing: I'm sure you all are wondering about December 3rd. Actually, I'm sure none of you have any idea what I'm talking about. So I'll make this short. I got to hang out with Dani, which was awesome. We put together 3 plates of cookies, delivered 2 of them, and ate the other one. On the first delivery, it was a doorbell ditch, and I pulled some muscle in my leg which brought back all the knee pains I had last year, times that stunk. The second delivery was...very December 3rd-y.

Anyways, that's my life.

I hope you all are doing great!

Love, Kaela

Monday, December 5, 2011

Rusty the Narcoleptic Domino

So Mrs. King showed us this video last year...and then I remembered it today while I was doing my psych homework...and I thought you all might enjoy it. I present to you, Rusty the Narcoleptic Domino.

If you want to watch it on repeat...don't feel bad. I did.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

How Mormon is Mitt? (A Very Political Post)

As many of you may be shocked to know, I have political views. I never really speak about them, because then people get the idea that my political views are real, and then they try to talk politics with me, and let's just say that you can't get very far in a political conversation when my political views consist of not much more than "Mitt Romney has a great smile." Also, he's LDS. I know, my political views would win in any sort of political arguement. So I'm not too worried. That's the great thing about America.

Anyways, I mentioned that Mitt Romney is Mormon. I'm sure a lot of people probably hate me by now, for having that as my second biggest reason as to why I think Romney would make a great Pres. But seriously, I think having a Mormon as president could be pretty sweet.

But, whether or not you agree with my political views, my dad sent me this. Maybe you've seen something like it before, but I hope you can all laugh at least a little bit at this (even if you do hate me for my political views.)

Mitt is so Mormon…

his campaign bus is a pioneer handcart.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d call 19-year-old boys to serve as US ambassadors.

Mitt is so Mormon…

his Israel policy will be centered on Jackson County, Missouri.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll make the income tax a flat 10% and collect fast offerings to fund Medicaid.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll ask the Senate to “sustain” his
appointees by manifesting with an uplifted hand.

Mitt is so Mormon…
he doesn’t do regular Pilates, he does golden Pilates.

Mitt is so Mormon…

that his campaign “oppo” team has done all the other candidates’ genealogy.

Mitt is so Mormon…
he’s organizing his precinct walkers in pairs to knock on doors with a very special message.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d make the Book of Mormon required reading at the Bureau of Indian Affairs.

Mitt is so Mormon…

that if elected, the “First Lady” will be known as the “First Wife.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll choke up during his Inaugural Address and then say, “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

he will commission a presidential motorcade entirely of 10-passenger family vans.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he will actually hang the Constitution up by a thread, just so he can save it.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’s concerned about joining the Tea Party because of Doctrine & Covenants 89.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll start the State of the Union with the words: “I wasn’t going to come up here, but the Spirit just carried me off of the bench.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

his campaign biography begins, “I, Willard, having been born of goodly parents.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll ask members of Congress to go home and pray about his economic plan.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d ask the Elders Quorum to help move him into the White House.

Mitt is so Mormon…

his first act will be to make July 24th a National Holiday.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he asks donors to stack chairs after fundraising dinners.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll award Ty Detmer, Steve Young, and Jimmer Fredette the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Mitt is so Mormon…

his campaign slogan is “What do you know about Mitt Romney? Would you like to know more?"
Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll reroute the Freedom Trail through Palmyra, New York; Nauvoo, Illinois; and Winter Quarters, Iowa.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll rename the “Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms” the “Word of Wisdom Squad”.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d do an ad for stating "I'm a husband, father, and leader of the free world. And I'm a Mormon."
Mitt is so Mormon…

he isn’t as concerned about getting American youth jobs as he is about getting them married.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he tried to convince CNN to let him bring a visual aid to the debate so he could turn it into an object lesson.

Mitt is so Mormon…

that he refers to Congress as "The Great and Spacious Building".

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll end every address with “hope you’ll all get home safely, without any harm or accident."

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll assign a friend to every new member of Congress.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’s already picked out a room in the White House for his year's supply of wheat and beans, and he'll require the White House Chef to rotate the Food Storage.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he doesn’t campaign. He "fellowships.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’s having two basketball hoops installed at the Inaugural Ball so there's a place to hang decorations.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll change the name of “Cabinet Meeting" to "Correlation Meeting".

Mitt is so Mormon…

if he gets elected all of the White House 9x13 pans would have a piece of masking tape on them with the name "Romney" written in Sharpie.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he has four cats named 1st Nephi, 2nd Nephi, 3rd Nephi, and 4thNephi (4th Nephi is the smallest).

Mitt is so Mormon…

late last night he snuck out to put 5000 plastic forks in the lawn of Jon Huntsman. And after that, he heart attacked Rick Perry.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’s going to rename the 101st Airborne as “The Stripling Warriors.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll rename FEMA the Federal Relief Society.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll start his acceptance speech with “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

the Marine Band will play “Praise to the Man” when he enters a room.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll appoint Lavell Edwards as Secretary of Defense.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he won’t allow advisors wearing non-white dress shirts to participate in cabinet meetings.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’ll rename the weekly presidential address “Politics and the Spoken Word.”

Mitt is so Mormon…

his cabinet would consist entirely of unqualified, yet enthusiastic, volunteers.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d convene a Munch-N-Mingle after cabinet meetings, with refreshments blessed “to nourish and strengthen our bodies”.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d hang a copy of the Proclamation on the Family and a picture of the Washington, D.C. LDS temple in the White House.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he has volunteers combing through old GOP voter rolls for less actives he can reactivate.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he’d put everyone in his stake on the Inauguration invite list. Just because.

Mitt is so Mormon…

he will add the phrases “every fiber of my being” and “beyond a shadow of a doubt” to the presidential oath of office.

Mitt is so Mormon…

the Inaugural Dinner will be Ham, Funeral Potatoes, green Jell-o, and red Kool-aid.

Friday, December 2, 2011

If I could be any animal...

....I would be this sheep. This guy is packin 60 pounds of wool. If I was this sheep, I would never get cold. Ever.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

It's so windy outside.

It's so windy outside. Do you know what it's like, being in a little office in a seemingly unstable building, listening to the wind howling. And making your building sound all creaky? And it's dark outside? And all you can see are a couple street lights? But what if a serial killer just...looked inside that window right there? That window doesn't look very unbreakable. Weapons in this room: sharp thing on the tape dispenser. Trash bag. Pen. Calculator. Paper crane. Oh gosh the wind is howling again.          Rubber band. Strange light that just flashed. Mercy, are there ghosts in here? The ghost of my father oohh my phone just vibrated is going to appear and tell me to write my hamlet on essay. wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooincestuoussheetswoooooooooooooavengemewoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Music Videos of Note

Oh world I'm so freaking tired. I should be asleep now. But alas, I'm in my mother's office at school. I'm supposed to be writing a paper about Hamlet, but I'm too tired to think. So I'm watching music videos. And here are a few of note.

Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

Don't watch this. Seriously, just don't watch it. All it made me want to do was cry, and then write a spiteful rhetorical analysis about Justin Bieber. Which I will do. Because I am feeling spiteful, and the truth needs to be known.

We The Kings - Say You Like Me

Watch this. It's way clever, and super cute. Plus the song is great.

Okay so those are the only two I watched. Mainly, I wanted to say that I watched an awesome music video, and one that made me want to mash my fists into...soft, plush walls.

Oh wait. There's more.

As I continued watching music videos, I stumbled upon Santa Clause Is Coming To Town - Justin Bieber

The animated Justin Bieber using his same dance moves confused me. The penguin on the drum set made me want a drum set that comes with a drum set playing penguin. But I have come to the decision, halfway through the video, that this is something I would dream up if I was stoned out of my mind. I could tell that there was a plot to this music video, but I don't know what it is. Is he friends with Kris the elf? Or trying to deceive him? I understand this music video about as much as I understand Hamlet. That is, I really don't know if I understand  it or not. I still have to write an essay about it. Not the music video.


I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Anger? Angst? It's like, I love Justin Bieber, but he's let me down in his past 4 music videos I watched! (him and Boys II Men around on some dimly lit fancy stairs for the entire song singing about nonsense) This is what happens. Justin Bieber. I am madly in love with you, but you are letting me down!!! But, it's December 3rd week. Let downs are a common theme of December 3rd week, not unlike how a common theme of Hamlet is vengeance. So I guess it's just to be expected.

I don't know what I'm still doing writing. The more I do this, the more trouble i'm going to mget myself into by rpressing that publish post button. Who cares about editing whateve rI write anytmore? Who needs  a backspace button? Who neeeeeedddddddddssssssssss sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp>

this girl.