Wednesday, June 29, 2011

100% of goodness.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about cars. And why I hate them.

Not really, I love cars. They make getting to places a lot easier. But they are beeping expensive!!

First, the car itself is expensive. Nobody has 10 grand sitting around. I sure don't. Even if you get a cheaper car, it'll still be several thousand bucks.

Then, you have to do maintenance. Because something is always going wrong with the car.

And then you need car insurance, just Incas you end up parking your car into somebody else's...

And, finally (though there are many other things) gas! Gas is mucho expensive. And it's always a huge issue for everybody. Wars are even fought over it!

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my dream car.

This, is the Nissan LEAF.

I wrote a paper about it for Coach Wong's drivers ed class when I was a sophomore, and ever since I've known that this is the car for me. For several reasons.

1 - I love Nissans in general. My dad has a Nissan Murano and I love to drive it any chance I get. I like the look of their cars and I like the feel of the ride. If that makes sense. I don't know much about cars, so excuse my lack of professional car language usage...thing.

2 - It is a small car. I like small cars. My current car is a giant old GMC which I am not on friendly/speaking terms with right now. Driving big cars is scary and I prefer smaller cars. I don't care about looking like a sissy, driving a small car. I don't feel cool driving my truck, anyhow. Well, sometimes I did. But not now. Moving on.

3 - Finally, to my main point, the Nissan LEAF is 100% electric. In other words, zero, zilch, nada, NO gas whatsoever! There isn't even a place you can put gas, or a tail pipe. Therefore, if everybody was driving this car, we would never hear the words "I need gas money" again. Not only does that prevent us from having to buy gas, but it also makes it the most environmentally friendly car on the market right now. It doesn't spew any sort of nasty gunk into our air. Driving it does not harm the environment, unless you crash into a tree. Then that would just suck for you.

Of course, you do need to charge your car. But get this! It costs us (depending on which car we have) about 40 to 80 bucks to fill up a tank. That's just each time we fill up, which for my family is once every 2 weeks about (for my dad, it's like 3 times a week, since he drives a lot for his work.) But still, that adds up fast!

With the Nissan LEAF, you wouldn't need to fill up on gas, but you would need to charge up your car. In electronic terms I'm not going to explain, it would cost you about $2.75 to fill up your car from completely empty to completely full power. So even if you charged your car completely every single day (which you probably wouldn't, as a completely charged battery can run for around 100 miles) you would end up paying like $90 bucks a month. Which is dramatically less that what you are paying for gas right now. Chances are, your energy bill would increase by maybe 20 or 30 bucks a month, but your gas bill (for your car) would vanish. Also, the LEAF can regenerate energy while you drive. Or rather, if you are breaking or coasting, it takes the energy you would have been using and converts that into battery power...essentially.

Now, I swear I'm not trying to sell you anything. But can you see why I love this car so much?? It's everything I need. I don't want a sports car. I want a Nissan LEAF.

And yes, this was like the Readers Digest version of all the details. But these are the basic facts.

And yes, I have heard of such things has hybrids. Believe me. I have. *cough cough Prius cough cough* but I PROMISE the Nissan LEAF is a lot different, and in my opinion, a lot better. No offense to any Prius owners. This is just the rantings of a girl about her dream car.

So there you have it. My dream car is the Nissan LEAF. I want one...more than I want a puppy. I want one more than I want a thousand puppies. Because, at least for me, 100% electric = 100% of goodness.


Monday, June 20, 2011

Once I was the president...

So, I haven't blogged in a while. A while being like, a week. Why? Let's just say my brother borrowed Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time from his friend, and we've been playing that literally non-stop all week. My mom was in Kentucky grading AP tests (no, she did not get mine :/) so she wasn't home to tell us to do something with our lives.

I'll admit, if it wasn't for work I probably would have just become a growth of the couch or something. But I worked every day last week except Tuesday, which reminded me of the good old days. The good old days being last summer, when I went to work everyday to flirt a lot and take people's money. That could be taken the wrong way. I also stacked inner tubes. Sound better?

I had considered blogging work, and the experience I'm having there. And honestly, I really wish I could. A lot of stuff that is GOLDEN blogging material is happening. Nothing really funny, though. Mostly completely controversial and slightly annoying.

So I'm not blogging about work. Not today. Maybe I'll do a summer in review once I'm done working there. No, today I am blogging about what I finished making just 5 minutes ago: A resume!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I made a resume today. I figured one would be important to have, as I want to have a job during the school year. And while I was making a resume, I realized I was making myself sound a lot cooler than I really am.

But isn't that what you are supposed to do in a resume? I could make myself sound like the president if I really wanted to. And in fact I did. Laurel President? Yeeah man! I'll admit that I have a ton of responsibility with that calling, more than normal for most other LP's in Provo. In fact it frequently stresses me out. But that's beside the point. The point is, when you are making a resume, you milk EVERYTHING you've got.

So I finished up my resume, and I looked over it and thought "Dang, this is pretty solid. Look how much I've accomplished!" even though anyone in 3rd period World History knows that my responsibilities as "Teacher Assistant" included grading quizzes and flirting. Haha. What an accomplishment.

In all honesty though, I do feel like I've accomplished a lot. You know, for an average 17 year old girl. So, if you are ever thinking that you haven't really done anything with your life, and you have a desire to get a job, make a resume! It's fun to see what you've really done throughout your life, and apply it to going farther and earning more job experience.

And, if you are somebody who works at the place I've applied to and are reading this blog thinking "that Kaela is a dirty phony wench!" this is awkward. Please still consider me? I promise I'll do good?

Haha, peace out y'all!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Blogging Disney: Part 2

Another day, another dollar. ... movie.

I hope people enjoyed my last post. Apparently, blogging about movies is about the lamest thing you can do, or so I have been informed. At least during the summer. Why aren't you out partying it up with your friends, Kaela? I'll tell you why. Because I hate all people. That's a lie. I have been partying with people. Blogging is just something I happen to enjoy (obviously) and confession -- I actually draw my inspiration from Mister Dan Bergstein. If he is a dude who can get away with blogging the Twilight series, then surely I should be able to get away with blogging all the Disney classics.

And so, with that introduction, I now present to you...PETER PAN!

To begin, in my last post I touched on "animated cartoon animal crushes." My current one is Simba. Kat mentioned Robin Hood, who I completely forgot about. To answer your question, Kat, Robin Hood is probably number two. He is a little too showy-offy for my taste.
The biggest thing I noticed in Peter Pan, however, is everybody seems to have a crush on him. A real one, not a fake "he is animated so I can only dream" one. And, Peter Pan is a total flirty, show-offy playa! I'm not going to name names, but he strongly reminded me of two and a half men. Not the TV show, actual people.

So I didn't like Peter very much. In fact throughout the entire movie I realized that I completely despised all of the good guys and was cheering for the bad guys. Which call me a criminal, but let's get real here. Wendy is ANNOYING.

But I'll expand on that later. When the movie began I was amazed at how crappy the animation was. I didn't remember it being that old school when I was a kid. So I checked to see when it was made. 1953. I'll touch on the significance of that in a second.

In the beginning of the movie, Wendy and her two brothers, John and Michael, all live together in a nursery. And their nana is a dog. That was by far one of my favorite parts of the movie. Kind of. The dog is like, pro at everything. It can pour drinks, make beds, and stack blocks. Wanna know what my dog does? She sleeps. She doesn't pour me drinks. And she doesn't make my bed, either. In fact, sometimes she just sheds on it. And chews on it when she is a really weird mood. I wish my dog was more like Nana.

The sad thing about Nana is that she gets heartily abused. Not like the animal abuse of today, but I think the saddest part of the whole movie is when her stack of building blocks keeps getting knocked over. Like, if my dog made an actual creation...and I'm talking building blocks, not throw up, because that's one creation I'd rather she didn't make on our living room floor...I wouldn't just knock it down every other second, just to make her sadly rebuild it. Well, maybe I would if I was in a really mean mood. Or if she got into my garbage can or something. I mean if you think about it, it would be kind of funny. Heh heh. But Nana's family simply does not appreciate their dog's talent.

Enough on the dog. Wendy and her brothers have vivid imaginations. How old is Wendy, anyways? I'm thinking she is at least 10, but probably closer to 11 or 12. And she acts more like a mother to her younger brothers than an older sister, which I guess Peter Pan seems to think is pretty hot, because he takes her to Neverland so she can be his and the Lost Boy's mother. Strange... After her and her brothers connivingly abuse her father (who has nice shoes, btw) he freaks out and tells Wendy that she is going to move into her own room.

Wendy, her brothers, and her mom -- even the dog, all freak out about this. As if it's some huge tragedy. And yeah, it does symbolize her growing up, so that's why it's such a big deal, but she is hardly growing up! I'm freaking out because I'm going to be a senior next year! And I'm starting college soon! People I know are leaving on their missions! Moving into your own room is not that big of a deal, missy. And everybody knows that it's so easy to talk parents out of stuff. So once again, everybody is overreacting and taking everything too seriously. Lighten up!

As her parents are leaving, Wendy's mother goes to close the window. But Wendy tells her not to, because "he might come back!" I never realized it before, but the look on her mom's face is absolutely priceless. Wendy "hasn't even grown up yet" and already has boys sneaking into her room?! Heh heh. Wendy explains that she just means Peter Pan, and her mom looks relieved that Wendy was just talking about someone who is imaginary. Heh heh. Ignorance FTW
So her parents leave, and then Peter Pan does actually sneak in through the window. This scene didn't really make sense, but what I understood was the night before, his shadow had escaped from him. So Wendy captured his shadow and locked it in a drawer, and now Peter came back for his shadow and Wendy wakes up and ambushes him. After he recaptures his shadow, she sews it back on.

Reasons I do not have a crush on Peter Pan.

- He isn't attractive, at all. Bottom line, his eyebrows are creepy and I think he has sharp teeth.
- He DEFINITELY isn't growing up. He hasn't hit puberty yet, so his voice is still high and he is still at that age where he should think girls are gross. I'm pretty sure him and Wendy are about the same age, though.
- He is a rude little jerk! Wendy is talking and being annoying, and so I appreciate that he would say "girls talk too much." all rudely, but still, if he is going to be a ladies man, gain some tact.
- He is a total ladies man. And everyone loves him for some reason! AHHHHH TWO AND A HALF MEN.
- And, finally, he thinks he is a lot cooler than he really is. Seriously.

For the record, if this movie was made in 1953, and the play was made in like...19...earlier than 53...then Peter Pan had the idea to sneak into kids bedrooms through windows long before Edward Cullen did. I'm just sayin.

It is in this scene that we are first introduced to Tinker Bell. And before, I always just kind of disliked her for some reason. But now I realize that she is actually completely awesome! A little psycho? Yeah, maybe. But she is spunky and has personality. The funniest thing about her is that she is completely in love with Peter. And gets jealous very, very easily. So when Wendy is a little skank lady and tries to kiss Peter, Tink goes into a psychotic rage. And...yeah. For some reason, I just thought that was hilarious. But really though, Team Tink > Team Wendy.

Eventually, Peter gets everyone to go to Neverland with him. But a serious question is posed: how do we get there? All you need to do is fly, but nobody knows how.

Personally, I would love to be able to fly. I seriously think that would be the best thing ever. And according to Peter, it's really easy. All you have to do is think of something that makes you happy. And a little pixie dust. And I'm sorry, Peter, but that doesn't work. I have thought of plenty of happy things and not once have I found myself airborne. So, thanks for the crushed dreams.

Finally, they are on their way! I wish the dog had come with them, that would have been too cool. And then I feel bad for the dog, again, and then I feel bad for Tink, again, because her man is ignoring her for Wendy, because he is a ladies man, but that's what you get Tink, for being in love with someone who everyone else is in love with.

And then we meet Captain Hook!! Who I happen to feel the same way about him as Tink -- because he is actually really awesome and funny, but always gets the crap kicked out of him by Peter. Just because he is the bad guy. The truth is, Peter is actually really vicious. He cut off Hook's hand and fed it to an crocodile. What gives?! Who freaking does that?! Psycho little kids, that's who!

As far as pirate captains go, Hook is pretty great. So, I pose the question: Who would win in a fight? Captain Hook, or Jack Sparrow? I'm thinking Jack but you also learn that Hook can defy the laws of physics in this movie. So they both have great advantages.

Hook also has a first mate, named Smee, who is pretty funny and fantastic, but I personally felt that his shirt was weird and he needed to fix it. Really though, that's all I have to say about him.

In the next scene, we are introduced to the Lost Boys. And, please nobody take offense at this, but I personally felt that they reminded me strongly of deacons. In that they have endless energy and like to destroy things. Now, in this scene, Tink is fantastic and conniving, and tells them all that there is a "Wendy bird" that Peter said they need to shoot down. So they run out and see Wendy flying towards the island, and start throwing rocks and hatchets at her. Yeah man! Peter saves her in the nick of time though, and both Tink and I were heartily disappointed. But, you win some you lose some, right?

From what I understand, NOBODY grows up in Neverland. The Lost Boys and Peter and everyone else have been there for who knows how long, and they are all the same age. Michael and John fit right in with the Lost Boys. So Peter banishes Tink for trying to kill Wendy, and then he takes Wendy to go look around the island while the Lost Boys and M&J go to..."hunt red skinned injuns"

Because this movie was made in 1953, the term "injun" was not racist then like it is now. That's what I love about old movies. You can call them out for being racist! Because this is seriously a really, REALLY racist scene!! The boys go, singing about how they are going to kill the indians (they only say injun once, but's so racist. They censored it out of Huck Finn. Heh). So violent! First Peter is feeding appendages to crocodiles, and now the Lost Boys are racistly hunting the natives! Ah!

However, the Lost Boys and M&J get captured by the indians and are brought back to their camp, where it looks like they are about to be sacrificed. Then the Lost Boys explain to M&J that this is all just a game they play with the indians, and they aren't just going to be let go. Except! The chief's daughter was kidnapped, so the chief tells the boys that if his daughter, Tiger Lilly, isn't back by sundown, then they will all die. Heh.

In the meantime, Peter and Wendy fly to a lagoon full of mermaids. And it's here that I realize that everybody on the island hates Wendy. It probably has to do with the fact that she is a girl, and all the other girls are jealous of Peter's attention, but the mermaids harass Wendy for a bit before Peter calls them out. And I'm pretty sure one of the mermaids, awkwardly enough, wasn't wearing a top. Of any sort. Just thought I'd let you know.

In the next scene, Hook, Smee, and Tiger Lily are in a...I don't even know what these places are called. A...water cave. A lake cave. A water lake. A cave with water inside of it. And Tiger Lily is probably about 8, and she has an anchor tied to her so that if Peter doesn't rescue her in time, then she will drown in the cave water lake. So I guess Hook is pretty sadistic too, but what Peter does next is just mean.

Somehow, Peter finds out where Hook is, and goes there with Wendy, and plays all sorts of nasty tricks on Hook before they actually have a showdown. But wow, he is such a show off! He kept saying to Wendy, "Watch this!" and then he would do something horrible to poor Hook. And then in comes...the crocodile.

I. Freaking. LOVE this crocodile. What do I love best about it? It's eyebrows! It's so devious! It's eyebrows will move along to the timing of the ticking noise it makes. Which I think is completely awesome. And then I love that Hook is mortally afraid of it. And anytime it senses that Hook is in danger of falling in the water, it just sits there and licks it's teeth at him. I don't know guys, that is just too cool to me.

So in this scene, when Peter is done messing with Hook, Hook falls into the water, and I think his little showdowns with the crocodile are really funny. Except they are less showdowns and more like "Hook defies the laws of physics as he escapes from the crocodile that sounds like a time bomb."

And then Peter rescues Tiger Lily, takes her back to the chief, and the indians throw a big party. And I loved this scene for one reason and one reason alone:

Wendy is running around, trying to dance like an indian and party it up with the rest of the boys, when this scary man lady stops her and says, "Squaw get em firewood!" And sends Wendy away to collect firewood while the rest of her friends celebrate and party. And while she is collecting firewood, she sees Tiger Lily being all over Peter, who is of course enjoying it, and she gets all mad and leaves.

In my opinion, Peter should be more considerate of Wendy. You know, if he really likes her and she just isn't some other girl to him. But if she is just some other girl, eh, go for it. Wendy is annoying, anyways.

So Wendy goes back to their little tree house, and mopes for a bit. Then the boys all come home talking about how great the party was, and I felt a little bad for her. Just because everybody on the island is mean to her because of nothing she has done. Peter likes her; that's completely out of her control. I still don't like her though. Not because of Peter though, but simply because she is annoying.

Now, earlier, before the party, Tink was kidnapped by Captain Hook, who has a devious plan to get back at Peter. Captain Hook slyly takes advantage of how she is angry at Peter, and how she hates Wendy, and Tink agrees to show Hook where Peter lives so that he can capture Wendy. Because everybody wants to get rid of Wendy. Including me.

And so, back in the tree house, Peter comes back. And Wendy yells at him for something about Tiger Lily, and then announces that she is taking the boys home. She sings to them about having a mother, and Peter just gets mad and goes into his room. Get a clue, Peter. He is too young and immature to try to have a girlfriend. If he was tactful, he would tell Wendy he is sorry instead of yelling at her to try getting her to stay. If they got married, I could imagine them 20 years from now.

Peter [who is wearing a wife-beater]: WENDY! WEEEEENDY!!
Wendy [who is cleaning the house]: Yes, Peter?
Wendy: Oh, Peter, can't you just fly over there yourself??
Wendy: Well then why didn't you just stay with Tinker Bell?! Or Tiger Lily!? I know about you and her, don't deny it!
Wendy: Oh Peter, don't you think you've had enough to drink by now?
Wendy: Oh, alright then.

Because Wendy is a pushover. And then Hook comes in and shoots them both.

Anyways, Peter goes in his room, and after the song is over Wendy has convinced all the Lost Boys to come home with them too. So they run out the door and then BAM! Hook and his crew have captured all of the boys, and Wendy. They take them to their ship, and Hook tries to convince the Lost Boys to join his ship's crew. And he actually does persuade them. In fact the boys seem to really enjoy being captured. But Wendy has to take the fun out of everything, and so they make her walk the plank. Except Peter saves her!

How exactly did Peter know to be there? So basically, Hook sent him a present, from Wendy, that was actually a bomb. And Peter is totally oblivious, and Tink comes, trying to warn him, but he blows her off. He only believes her when the package starts smoking, and he throws it away just in the nick of time. Except it almost kills Tink! But, when he is looking for her, he says "Don't you understand Tink? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!" Which I thought was super cute. See, what was he thinking blowing her off for Wendy??

And so he flies to the ship and is able to catch Wendy before she lands in the water. And then him and Hook have their big showdown. And somehow the Lost Boys are able to overpower an entire crew of full grown, scary pirate men with experience. And it's down to just Peter and Hook, and Peter promises he'll make the fight more fair by agreeing not to fly. Which is pretty much just him showing off.

And they have a pretty good showdown for a Disney movie, but, of course, Peter wins. Hook falls straight into the time bomb crocodile's mouth and is chased into the sunset with the rest of his crew. Because they've commandeered the ship, Tink coats it in pixie dust, turning it gold, and it is able to become airborne and fly back to Wendy's house. What I don't understand is, if you have to also think happy thoughts to fly, then was the ship thinking happy thoughts? Hmm? Also, that is not unlike fighting off dementors. You need magic and happy thoughts to fight off dementors. So technically, if you are flying, you are also fighting off dementors?

When Wendy's parents get home, they find Wendy asleep next to the window. And her and her brothers wake up and tell their parents all about their adventures, and they look out the window and see the ghost of the flying ship. And then that's the end.

Thoughts: Wendy is bloody annoying. And I hate Peter, a lot. If I were to rewrite Peter Pan, I would make it so Tink and Hook join up and whip some shape into Peter. Actually, there are books about Peter Pan that are actually really good. I think I'm going to go read them now. They go way more in depth and I like those a lot better than this movie.

However, this movie was an original and it was a classic. And it wasn't too shabby. It was pretty exciting and had a fun plot. I'll give it a 7 out of 10, which puts the rankings as such.

  1. Peter Pan
  2. Lion King 2: Simba's Pride
Next, I'm going to watch Snow White. Stay tuned!


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Blogging Disney: Part 1

Okay. So for those of you who didn't read the post preceding this, I found a plethora of old Disney movies in my basement that I haven't watched since I was like, 4. So I'm watching them all now, and blogging my thoughts. Because what better time to spend my summer? Look, it's not like I have netflix. Which is kind of a problem because my goal to watch every season of X-Files won't go well unless I have netflix. Or every season of X-Files, which I don't. Don't judge my summer goals. What are yours? Read 100 books? Skydive? Build a house?

I'm just kidding. Wow, I'm getting off track...again. Anyways, let's begin!
I watched Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. And then I tweeted all of my thoughts. Which actually ended up making me miss half of the movie just cuz I ended up staring at my phone half of the time but I got the basics down.

As I mentioned before, I recall loving the movie as a kid. And I actually only remembered one part from it, while I was watching the movie, which I ended up remembering wrong anyways. Which I will explain in a second.

My experience started out with me grabbing the VHS and opening the DVD player, and then sitting there wondering what I was supposed to do next. Then I closed the DVD player, feeling a little embarrassed, and then pressed the eject button on the VHS player, and waited for a bit. Then I remembered that you are supposed to put the VHS into the machine, there isn't a disk drive or anything. So, I did that. Then I rewinded the movie, and then I pressed play. So far, so good.

I did end up watching the commercials, just to see what they would be. They were all for like, Mulan, and A Bugs Life (which has quite a few dirty jokes in it, the worst was actually in the preview. Just thought you'd all like to know.) and I thought to myself, wow. Disney really scored in the 90's. That's when most of their classics came out. The best Disney has come out with in this millennium is Tangled. I guess Disney made up for it though, cuz were there any really good movies that actually came out in the 90's? I honestly can't think of any. Except maybe Titanic.

There was also a preview for Lion King on Broadway. Which I think would actually be really cool to see. I think it would be even cooler to see if they used real lion cubs though. You know, food for thought.

And finally the movie began. With a really, really creepy song. I will probably mention a few things about the soundtrack throughout the blog, but wow, I was genuinely scared. Every song was seriously just creepy. It didn't even compare to the soundtrack of the first movie. (which I am listening to right now, by the way)

Then the movie actually begins, with Simba holding up his new born cub, Kiara. And I decided, again, that having a pet baby lion would be very fantastic.

Except we soon learn that Kiara is actually a complete airhead, who did not inherit either of her parent's brains. The description of her on the back of the movie box described her as "headstrong" which I didn't exactly agree with. She was just like Simba in the first movie, always wanting adventure and what not...except she was just really stupid.

Once she is not a baby but slightly older, she is wandering around and, being her rebellious self, ventures off into the Outlands where she meets little Kovu, who is an Outlander and a total jerk. They don't immediately hit it off, mostly because she is a Pridelander, and he is an Outlander. One could say that she is perhaps a Capulet, and he is a Montague, but I'll get into that later.

I wasn't really paying attention, but somehow they fell into an alligator infested lake. Or maybe crocodiles. Can anybody actually tell me the difference between those two? Anyways, in their escape from the alligators, they magically become the best of friends, because everyone knows the only way to bring two born enemies together is to throw them into a alligator filled lake and have them escape together.

After their escape, Simba appears and has a miniature freak out over protective dad episode, and then warns Kovu's mother, Zira, who is psycho, about how he banished her to the Outlands and...something else. Zira is Kovu's mother, if I understood correctly. And, being the great mother that she is, tells Simba that he can kill Kovu if he really wants to. But Simba is too cool for that, so he just yells at Kiara and then they go home.

One thing that confused me about this scene is how the Outlanders talk about Scar, and for a while they made it seem like Scar was still alive. Didn't he get eaten by hyenas? Here is what I gathered.

Zira is not married to Scar, but probably wanted to be.
Kovu is not Scar's son, but everybody wishes he was.
Scar is a pretty cool bad guy. But his little pride clan thing is pretty pathetic. They are all ugly, and annoying.
Kovu was chosen to be Scar's heir. So Scar is definitely dead.
And now for a confession. Don't judge me for this, but if Simba was a human, he would probably be really, really attractive. He already has a really attractive voice. Matthew Broderick isn't necessarily attractive himself, but his voice is. And as far as lions go, Simba isn't too bad looking. I mean, for an animated lion. I know I'm just digging myself into a hole, but seriously. If I could have a crush on one imaginary movie character that is an animal, it would probably be Simba.

Moving along...

From what I remember, Simba has a talk with Kiara and explains to her that "we are one" as in, everything is together in some sort of harmony. I still think it's funny that all of the animals like, bow to and are subjects to the lions, but the lions eat them. It's kind of like Barack Obama getting hungry and deciding which of us he is going to eat today. Anyways, Simba explains this whole concept with a song. Which again, is mostly dumb and didn't give me much hope for the rest of the soundtrack.
Then it shows the Outlanders, and Zira is yelling at Kovu for sucking at following in Scar's "paw prints" (I always thought it was funny they call it that). And then the little Kovu falls asleep, and his brother and sister whine and complain and act creepy, and then his mom sings an almost epic but mostly disturbing song that is pretty violent and just made me wonder about her sanity...more. Because she is seriously PSYCHO. This song wasn't necessarily as bad as the others, but how violent it was, for a kids movie, was still a little questionable.
And then it shows Rafiki! I love Rafiki. He is so funny. And he always gives good advice. Well, in the first movie he does. We see later that he turns to LSD for his wisdom, but I'll get to that in a second. In this scene, he is talking to Mufasa, apparently, who inspires him that if Kovu and Kiara get married, then the two warring tribes will be brought together. Not unlike a certain Shakespearean play, eh?

In the next scene, Kovu and Kiara are all grown up, and Kovu is old, ugly, scary and evil while Kiara is older but still a complete blockhead. It's strange because everyone keeps telling Kiara how much older she looks. It's like, weren't they right there with her while she was growing up? Only my relatives I haven't seen in years still tell me that. So I don't really know.

And also, riddle me this. How come there are no other males in Simba's pride? He just has his little harem and that's it? Who did they expect Kiara to marry if not Kovu? Paris? Heh heh. Anyways, it's the same deal with the Outlanders. Kovu and his hippy brother are the only male lions. It's just a little strange.

Anyways, this scene is a big deal because Kiara is going hunting by herself for the first time. Except she isn't very good at it. So when she finds out that Timon and Pumbaa, who are still hilarious in this movie, followed her, she gets angry and decides to go hunt in the Outlands. Except Kovu's brother and sister strategically started a fire, so that Kovu could strategically save Kiara's life.
Simba finds Kiara all safe-ish and yells at Kovu for being in the Pridelands. And then Rafiki comes in and slyly tells Simba that Kovu saved her life, so Kovu asks if he can join their pride. Simba reluctantly agrees, but at least he is in his right mind and suspicious of Kovu. Kiara is mostly dumb and is not suspicious of Kovu at all, and is instead mostly happy that he is coming home with them. Which is all fine in the long run, but right now he is still evil and still plotting to kill Simba. So...jokes on you, Kiara. Except not. Yeah.

Next is the  only scene I THOUGHT I remembered from my childhood. Here, Simba has a dream that mirrors the scene where Mufasa is killed in the first movie (which, let's be honest, is probably the most heartbreaking scene of any Disney movie ever made). Only Simba is Mufasa, and Kovu is Scar. And instead of antelopes, they are scary wildebeests with glowing eyes. From what I remembered, it was lava. But I'm thinking that was just a dream I had, about the dream. Within a dream. Within a dream. You're waiting for a train...


So the next day, Kiara and Kovu go play with each other, and Timon and Pumbaa follow. And somehow, they get caught in a rhino stampede, which I also vaguely remember from when I watched this as a child. What I didn't remember though, is that Kiara and Kovu like, awkwardly accidentally kiss. Personally, I think it's awkward when animated animals actually kiss in movies. Like it just looks weird. And...awkward. Because it generally is. And here comes the strangest part in the entire movie.
Later on, at night, Kiara and Kovu are either lion cuddling or lion making out, (it's really hard to tell) when Kovu starts having internal struggs about his whole "be like Scar and kill Simba" duties. Internal struggs? Cue RAFIKI!! Rafiki shows up, and we all expect him to start giving Kovu deep words of wisdom concerning his destiny. This...does not happen.
Unlike the first movie, where Rafiki uses wisdom and leads Simba to realize that he needs to become king and replace Mufasa and other deep stuff, he uses a song. And drugs. I am 100% sure of it.

I really cannot describe what happens next. You'll just have to trust me, and watch this.

Did you watch it? Do you understand now? Not that that's something you can really understand, but wow. WOW.

One of the things I didn't understand about that whole scene (there were many) is why Kovu seems to be totally enjoying it. Like, it's completely cheesy, and tacky, not to mention slightly disturbing. Wasn't he was raised on blood lust and evil? If I were raised on blood lust and evil and the desire to murder, I would not have enjoyed that scene one bit. In fact, I wasn't raised on blood lust or evil and I still felt slightly disturbed at that scene. So, Kovu, what's going on?
LSD is really the only explanation.

The best part is when air head Kiara exclaims "Upendi means love, doesn't it!"

Congratulations. We have a future Einstein on our hands.

Once Kiara and Kovu return to Pride Rock, Kovu gets the chance to be alone with Simba. So technically, he was supposed to kill him there. But since he didn't, now the Outlanders are all angry with him. And seriously, they were alone for like 5 seconds. Strictly speaking, had Kovu attacked, it would've been him against Simba, who could take him all by himself, blindfolded. Not to mention the rest of Simba's pride/harem was right there too. If Simba had been attacked it would have been 10 to 1. As if he could stand a chance in the first place. But the Outlanders overreact, and decide to just kill Simba by force. Which I thought was the plan in the first place, but apparently not.

In the next scene, Kovu is freaking out because, let's be honest, how do you tactfully tell your girlfriend that your destiny is to kill her father, but you don't feel like it anymore? Instead, Simba ends up taking Kovu and tells him the real story about Scar. Once he is finished, he gets ambushed by the Outlanders. Simba, who is amazing, totally kicks butt and throws off the entire pride, and ends up killing Kovu's brother in the process. After Simba escapes, Kovu's mom confronts blames Kovu for his brother's death and slashes his eye, giving him a scar just like *gasp* SCAR'S!! How poetic.
Kovu then returns to Pride Rock and tries to explain to Simba, who is pretty miffed at almost being killed, that he had nothing to do with the ambush. But coming back with a scar like Scar's didn't really do him any favors, and Simba does not believe Kovu, so he says, "Exile." which is a strange word to precede a peppy song sung by all animals. Except it's really depressing and creepy and they all basically tell Kovu that he is not one of them...or something. And it's actually pretty mean, and you even feel a little bad for Kovu as he runs away.

And then comes the next question. How do you nicely tell your daughter that her boyfriend's family ambushed and tried to kill you? Kiara doesn't take it too well, and still trusts Kovu, and doesn't seem to mind that he almost got her dad killed. Maybe she was still suffering the after effects from the LSD. At any rate, she takes off and runs around looking for Kovu. There is a song that I thought had a kind of Christmas-y feel to it, but is actually a love song. And actually, I didn't think it was too bad. It came nowhere near to "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" but compared to the rest of the soundtrack, it wasn't the worst song in the movie.

During the song, Kovu finds Kiara looking for him, and they are all happy and joyful and everything is all perfect and well!...
...Except not! Let's see, Simba almost died, Kovu is banished by both of the prides, and the two prides are about to attack each other. And neither of them seem to care, like at all. Kiara doesn't even question Kovu at all. Like, if it was me, I would've AT LEAST been like, "So, you almost got my dad killed. What gives?" and then let him explain that he had nothing to do with the ambush. Even Juliet freaked out at Romeo when she found out that he killed her cousin. I'm not saying Juliet is smart, but she at least had a little common sense. Kiara is dumber than a rock.

Finally, Kiara and Kovu discuss that bad stuff is going on, and Kovu suggests that they run away, because he was selfish and raised on evil and blood lust. Kiara has her one smart moment in the movie, and says that they need to go back so they can bring the two prides together.

So, Kiara and Kovu run back to their prides, and the lions have already started their face off. Simba is, of course, owning everybody, when he gets cornered by Zira. But, just in time, Kiara and Kovu come to the rescue! Kiara delivers a powerful speech, which pretty much comprises of "we shouldn't fight because...well, we shouldn't" and then suddenly all of the lions are friends. Like it is literally that easy. It probably happened because the Outlanders realized that they were no match for Simba, so it was more of a surrender than a 'let's all be friends'.

Except Zira won't give in that easily. She makes a big fuss, and jumps Kiara, making them both fall off the cliff. Kiara finds her way to a ledge, and tries to be noble and save Zira's life, but instead Zira falls to her death into some rapids.

And then that's it. Everybody goes back to Pride Rock and lives happily ever after. For how much potential the whole movie had, the ending was extremely anti-climatic. And then in the end, Mufasa says something, which is awesome because everybody loves Mufasa, but then that's it. It's over. Kovu and Simba both do their lion roar thing, and I decide for the last time that Simba is way cooler than Kovu will ever be.

So that's it. Thoughts: I really liked it as a kid. And strictly speaking, it wasn't a movie that I would never watch again. I liked it. It wasn't nearly as good as the first one, of course, but it wasn't a bad movie either. I'm just really critical. The worst part of the movie was the soundtrack, and Kiara's stupidity but other than that I think I would give it a 6.2 out of 10.

So, stay tuned. The next blog will feature Peter Pan. Yeeah get some!!


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Where Did the 90's Go?

Oh, I found it.

Is it just me, or are there those places in your house that you just NEVER go? You never really look around there, and then when you do you discover a bunch of crazy stuff you forgot about? These places inspire my dreams. No, really. My house is giant and haunted in my dreams, with a bunch of secret passageways and stuff. Yep. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

I am writing here today because I was rummaging (ha! isn't that a fantastic word? So is 'fantastic'. Moving along.) around in my basement when I opened a little door underneath my TV and SURPRISE! I found all of the Disney movies from my youth! That I haven't watched in YEARS! So I decided, what better way to celebrate this discovery than to watch all of these movies, and then blog about them?

So that's what I'm going to do. People, keep posted. I'm thinking this is going to be the new Blogging Basketball/Volleyball Co-ed (Unless I do blog about my job, which is looking more and more unlikely, due to the fact that A. I never get scheduled and B. I would probably get fired.) So. We will see about that.

However, I'm definitely going to blog about these movies. They are perfect blogging material and probably a lot more interesting than "Adventures of Online Financial Literacy" or "The Quest to Beat Minesweeper on Hard" (Which is not necessarily that difficult, but pretty time consuming, and no, I haven't beaten it on hard yet, but at the rate I'm going by my next blog I probably will have. Don't judge, okay!)

So, stay tuned. The first movie I'm going to watch is...

drum roll...


From what I've heard, this movie is one of the worst sequels ever made. IMDB gave it 5.9 out of 10 stars, so that doesn't sound very promising but sequels usually aren't that good. Except for Kung Fu Panda 2 and The Dark Knight

 But I remember loving Lion King 2 to death as a kid. So, we'll see what happens!

As always,


Monday, June 6, 2011

When will my life begin?


Seriously, up until this last weekend I've been sitting around, thinking, "my life is missing something." and being ultimately, pretty unhappy. Until I had an inspired inspiration that had me being mostly a basketcase and angry at myself and crying myself to sleep for like a week, (sad I know.) And then I had youth conference, succeeded at something I've been working at for the last 3 years/lifetime, and then just like that...

I know who I am.

And I know what I'm supposed to do.

And I know I'm being really vague, but deal with it. Being away from society for the weekend was like bliss. I got to know the people in my ward so much better and I'm really grateful for that. Plus, I decided I'm going to quit Facebook for a month, and even though it's kind of a hard habit to break, I feel so, SO much better.

Youth conference went something like this:

Day 1:
  • Games in the park/divide into groups we were in all week.
  • Habitats for Humanity service project. I got my annual nasty face sunburn here, and thanks to my bangs I had numerous nicknames all week, like "Two Face", "Harvey Dent", "Phantom" and "Dwarf" (that last one had less to do with my face and more to do with my size.) So I have Church and Zach to thank for those.
  • Ettiquete Dinner. (I was sitting at a table of all boys, so that was interesting, and then all the other girls left, so that was kind of lame.)
Day 2:
  • Baptisms for the dead
  • Service project at DI. This was pretty great because we were sorting clothes into size, color, print or solid, and all of the guys, especially the bishopbric were having anxiety attacks. 
  • Drive up to Salt Lake. We played Punchbuggy, and I would say I'm a pro at this game, but since I was sitting next to Church I now have a lovely bruise on my left shoulder.
  • Joseph Smith movie. (I didn't know it was a different one, did you?) :S
  • Church History Museum. This was pretty cool because I got to see an original page from the original transcript of the Book of Mormon, which was amazing.
  • Spicy Thai for dinner. Mmmmm
  • Night games!
Day 3:
  • This was basically just a Book of Mormon read-a-thon. So we would read for a while, then go play games, and then read again, and then play games, and then read again. It was during this that the Book of Mormon actually made perfect sense to me and I could relate it to my life and I discovered so many principles and it was a SERIOUS testimony builder. Then we had a kind of testimony meeting, and then we went home. And played night games, but that wasn't part of youth conference.
But yeah. It doesn't even seem like we did that much but the experience literally changed my life a ton. Like it totally turned it around. I'm like a completely different person now. It is fantastic.

Anyways, summer is being pretty fly now. I'm in a tennis tournament and today I won! :O Ah! It was fantastic. I had some pretty wicked shots, which does not usually happen. So yes, I love tennis. So if anybody ever wants to play with me, just hit me up. No pun intended.