Blog Archive

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I Dreamed A Dream...And Then I Wrote A Letter


2 nights ago, I had a dream. I'm about 110% sure it won't come true, but I thought you all might enjoy it.

I was standing in a dark room looking at the silhouettes of 2 people standing in front of me. Subconsciously, I knew one of them was me, and the other was the person I was marrying. So I thought, "huh, I wonder who that person is!" Just as I thought that, the two people turned to face each other. Then I realized that one person was me, and the other person was not a person. It was an alpaca. I was marrying an alpaca.

As retarded as that dream was, it got me thinking (again) about marriage. And I hate thinking about marriage because so many people keep telling me that I'll be getting married soon, probably. Which is not going to happen but it keeps freaking me out. Especially because return missionaries can sometimes be likened to a pack of hungry wolves, on the prowl for an unsuspecting female they can eat. I mean marry. You get the idea.

So I was thinking to myself, I need some sort of insurance. Some way to make sure that, no matter what, I won't get married too young, and I won't get married to the wrong guy. And then I realized...

Bam! Temple! That unfinished temple is my insurance right there. I refuse to get married anywhere else. No matter what my future husband or anybody else says. As long as that temple stays the burnt out shell of a tabernacle that it currently is, then I remain very, very single.

And so, I need to make sure that temple doesn't get built until I am ready. Which is why I am writing a letter to the Big Dog. This is in no way sacrilegious.

Dear President Monson,

First off, I would just like to say I really admire you, and you are cool. So I kind of need a favor. I know getting married and replenishing the earth is a commandment, and I'm cool with that. But I'd rather not start marrying and replenishing until I'm like...21? That sounds like a good age. And as long as the Provo Tabernacle stays the Provo Tabernacle and not the Provo Temple Part 2, then I can't get married! Which is really perfect. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, take your time. Really...let's not rush this. Really.
Anyways, thanks for everything, and keep doing what you do best. That is to say, leading the fastest growing church in the world, and of course being awesome.


1 comment:

Carrots said...

Basically, this post made my day.