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Monday, January 9, 2012


What am I doing...?

My first day of college is tomorrow. TO. MORROW.

And I'm freakin out. I have no idea where any of my classes are. I'm not going to know anyone. What if I end up sucking at life and I can't make any friends? On top of that, what if I just fail at life and I can't do any of my assignments right? For some reason I thought since I knew a lot of people going to UVU that's where I was supposed to be. On top of that, I get free tuition. Why wouldn't I go to UVU?

The cost of going to BYU for one year is 16,470. I don't have that money! I don't have even close to that much money! I don't even have enough to cover tuition. And there's no way I can get a scholarship.

I'm so excited to move on and start my new life but...ah. It's scary. And I am completely broke. And I have this dream of being successful, of actually doing well in school and being recognized. Not being vain, I just want to do well in whatever major I choose. Communications? Journalism? Am I just kidding myself? I know I'm going to work hard. And I never want to settle for less than the best. But sometimes maybe the best simply isn't reachable. Maybe the best costs 17,000 a year. Maybe the best requires more talent than I have.

And now I'm starting college. Tomorrow. Yep. I've been dreaming of this day my whole life. What if it isn't everything I dreamed it would be? And what if it is? Then what?

Yes, yes I did just quote Tangled there.

The only difference is, I am feeling less than optimistic. I am scared. I am terrified out of my mind. And there is no turning back.

What have I done?

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