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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Just Some Thoughts.


A lot can happen in 2 years.

Contrary to what you are all thinking, that sentence is not implying ANYTHING about a mission. It's just very, very true.

Okay, so I guess in a roundabout kind of does....but don't over think it. Because I'm not thinking 2 years in the future. I'm thinking about 2 years in the past.

Which, by the way, I would suggest you never do. I try not to think about the past because, well, it's kind of stuck there. Not much you can do about it.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about 2 years as a unit of time. Not unlike how 72 days is now a unit of time known as a "Kardashian." (If you don't get it, go read a newspaper you hobo.)

Really though, I feel like 2 years ago from today, January 22 2012, was not that long ago. I remember everything that was happening in January of 2010. I was a sophomore in high school. I played tennis twice a week. (Moment of silence because I haven't played since August). I had relatively few problems. That was pretty nice. And 2 years ago, I would never have been able to guess where I am now. I really do feel like I strayed from a the path I've always been on and just stepped into an alternate universe. I never would have guessed that I'd have, for all intents and purposes, dropped out of high school to just start college early. I know, I didn't technically drop out, but it certainly feels that way when I only have 2 classes there.

And part of me feels...sad. What if I hadn't made the choices that I did? What if I had stayed on that path I always figured I would be on? Why does change...happen? Why?

For some reason, I feel like I'm going to be on this same path 2 years from now. And I keep planning my life according to that thought. And seeing how much change has happened the past 2 years, is that really a wise idea? Because much, MUCH bigger changes are about to happen, like moving out...that's kind of big. Like having to provide for myself...that's kind of big. Like not being in high school at ALL...that's kind of big.

Unrelated, but either I'm suffering from paralysis, or the entire bottom half of my body just fell asleep. It is quite a strange sensation. I feel like I'm floating.

Anyways, I made a decision a couple weeks ago that life is pretty dang exciting. And maybe I'll blog about that later. I'm still really nervous for the future though. Nervous, and excited. Kind of like I watch football. Or tennis. 2 words, Australian Open. Oohh man....I wonder if that's on right now...

Well, that's me getting off topic. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm having another one of those "should I be regretting everything and what in the world am I doing with my life and what if I go broke and can't afford food or a christmas tree or what if I marry the wrong person and life is scary i wish i was a child again actually i really DONT want that but wow future here scary gah!" moments. And I think I blog about these moments a lot more frequently than I should. But I think I did jump into the future sooner than I expected to. Which is really throwing me off. Oh world. I think I need a hug...and a peach.


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