It's been a really really messed up week.
To be totally honest, it feels like every single day of this week was all like "Haha Kaela! Trial of your faith!" And it was SUPER overwhelming. A lot of extremely crappy things happened. But they were all very eye opening too.
Prayer. It's a big deal. With one of my trials this week, I asked for help from two people whose advice I tend to really value. And they both told me the EXACT SAME THING. Which was weird for me, because they don't even know each other. They've met once. I feel like the Twilight Zone theme music started playing, or I just got dropped into Lost...so I'll get to my main point.
I asked for their advice, and they both told me to pray. So I did. Scared to death as I was, I knelt down and prayed for long enough that I probably would have been late to work if some random people hadn't rung my doorbell. And I felt better. I didn't know what I was supposed to do about the situation, but I felt comforted.
I feel like my testimony has been growing a lot the past few months. But a test of your faith can come in a lot of different ways, and mine are usually "Your life sucks" trials instead of people asking me questions about my religion. And I realized that I didn't know as much as I thought I did.
And I'll admit, I'm not perfect. I've concluded that this church is true based off of logic and my own personal feelings and witnesses. And having all of my logic questioned wasn't easy. I said "I honestly don't know" to more questions than I would have liked.
And then the first thing I did this morning was read from a book I stole from my cousin who is on his mission. It's called "The Voice of My Servants" and it's a bunch of talks from different prophets and apostles about teaching. And I found one quote in there that I absolutely loved:
"Search the scriptures...and ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, to manifest the truth unto you, and if you do it with an eye single to his glory nothing doubting, he will answer you by the power of his holy spirit. You will then know for yourselves...you will not then be dependent on man for the knowledge of God; nor will there be any room for speculation." -Joseph Smith
After that, in Sunday School we had a lesson about agency, and then in YW we my leader gave a lesson about (couldn't be more perfect...) finding for yourself the truthfulness of the gospel. After the lesson I went up to my leader and told her how her lesson was exactly what I needed to hear and she started crying. It was super touching.
Bottom line...this church is true! This church is full of truth! And I can question logic and doubt what my brain tells me, but there is absolutely no way I could ever deny everything I've felt in my heart.
I hope you all have a great day!